Blood On The Highway (2008)
Horror Movies & Sci-Fi Movies Database
The citizens of sleepy small town Fate, TX gather for the grand opening of Consumart, a shiny new one-stop-shopping box store. The eager consumers gleefully pour into the store as the doors open at sundown. Why is the grand opening at sundown? Who cares, they've got cut-rate prices on plasma screens and baby clothes! DVDs! Mayonnaise! Coffins! Coffins? And before they have to time to really question this item, terror ensues and the store erupts into a bloodbath. A few weeks later, three oblivious, self-absorbed twenty somethings - CARRIE, SAM, and BONE - head out on a road trip to Mr. Fire (a festival which shares only minor non-litigious similarities, all of a purely coincidental nature, to Burning Man) and accidentally wander into Fate, unaware of its population's ill-fated transformation... into vampires. Being that the heroes are 20-somethings, they do it. Carrie, a shallow hothead, is dating Sam's wallet, er, Sam, who is a whiny, naive, hypochondriac rich boy. Bone, a callous hard-ass with a venomous way of speech, is still nursing a desire for Carrie predicated upon a drunken, frivolous one night stand. After a run-in with two blood-thirsty convenience store clerks in which Sam is repeatedly bitten and attacked and Bone is forced to slaughter them, our protagonists begin it wonder if something strange might be going on in the town. Luckily, but only in the sense that they didn't get murdered, the three stumble upon the only surviving humans in town: ByRON VON JONES, a trigger-happy, conspiracy theorist militia member; LyNETTE VON JONES, a haggard, trailer park slut and the only surviving wife out of Byron's harem; and ROy JACKSON (Chris Gardner), a cowardly, lying frat boy in his early 20s. The group bands together and takes shelter in Roy's ranch house, surrounded by hundreds of vampires intending to torch the property before sunrise, so they don't have to go home and try again the next day. Will our heroes escape death and transformation? Will Bone win over Carrie's dubious and indifferent heart? Does he even really care? And will the nefarious corporate franchise relevance to the plot ever be explained?
There's a sucker born every minute!
Title: Blood On The Highway
Release Date: March 28, 2008
Runtime: 88 mins
All Genres: Comedy, Horror
IMDB Rating: 5.8
Buried.com Rating: 6.8 - (Rate This Horror Movie at Buried.com)
Category: Horror Movies Starting With B
MPAA Rating: R
MPAA Rating Reason:
Rated R for strong bloody horror violence throughout, pervasive language including graphic crude sexual dialogue, and some sexuality.
Deva George ...Bone
Nate Rubin ...Sam
Robin Gierhart ...Carrie
Tony Medlin ...Byron
Laura Stone ...Lynette
Chris Gardner ...Roy
Nicholas Brendon ...Chase Sinclair
Tom Towles ...Louis Debois
Jeff Ayala ...Retarded vamp
Adam Donaghey ...Marching Vampire #1
Lorraine Eubank ...Townie Vampire 1
Peter Gardner ...Queer Vamp
Saundra Gardner ...Searching Vamp
Brad Hartliep ...Coach Vamp
James Hoke ...Vamp Representative
Nicole Holt ...Vampire protester
James M. Johnston ...Trucker Vampire
Scott A. Mollette ...Professor Vampire
Richard L. Olsen ...Old Zeke
John Phelan ...Wrestler Vampire
Eric Rhoades ...Protest Vampire
Daniel Villarreal ...Clerk II
Casey Wickson ...Shawn
Brent Wiggins ...Smoking Vampire
Mark E. Howell ...Protester
More Movie Taglines:
- There's a sucker born every minute!
- Roy: Man, do you really wanna fight an army of vampires? Bone: [pauses to do a dramatic turn] Since I was twelve years old.
Carrie: What the hell is wrong with this town? Those guys were, like, fucking rabid. Bone: They had fangs. Those other two died pretty quickly when I put a stake through their heart. So, obviously... they're Lutherans.
Bone: Look, we are fucked! We're fucked like an autistic 8 year old at a NAMBLA meeting.
Lynette: So that's what those things are? They's vampires? Byron: No, I already told ya, they're genetically enhanced fang bots made by the government! Lynette: Then why come that's one we saw stuck out in the daytime 'splode up when the daylight hit 'em? Byron: That was just a coincidence. What happened was we got too close to his special robot secrets. [to Bone] Byron: And I'm tellin' ya, trying to run durin' the day is a death sentence! They can see ya more clearly! Bone: [to Carrie] So, sunrise. That cool?
Chase Sinclair: I'll allow you to allow me to introduce myself. Hi, Chase Sinclair, regional VP of Consumart Industries, and can anybody tell me why I'm here at five AM instead of my penthouse apartment having my anus tickled by two Kashmiri pop stars? Carrie: [slightly raising her hand] Does- does it have something to do with vampires? Chase Sinclair: Well, that's part of the reason. More specifically, all of the dead vampires. Now, how do you suppose that happened? Act of god? Sickle Cell? I mean, they didn't just trip and fall on those wooden stakes. Greeter: Uh, Bertram Moynaham did. Chase Sinclair: [grudgingly] Except for Bertram Moynaham.
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Vampire, Blood, Gore, Satire, Consumerism ...[more]
Rating: 6.8 out of 10.0 - 63 votes cast total