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Backwoods (1986)
Movie Review by The Undertaker

Backwoods (1986) This kinda slow paced couple in peril in the woods film didn't do much for me. It had a few cool scenes, however on a whole my attention span won a few battles, but lost the war. This yuppy couple heads off for a weekend in the woods, sounds promising. The 1st night the girl gets naked in the tent and has nice little tittys, sounds better. The next day they meet a crazy redneck with a choking daughter. The guy camper is a doctor, so he saves the kid and earns the gratitude of the hayseed. They get invited to his house, which to me doesn't look that backwoods, remote, or scary, and then the shenanigans begin...sort of. He has a few inbred marauding, grown kids living with him and they soon stalk the couple. The almost hotty girl camper kills these assholes off easily, while her boyfriend or brother, was never sure which, gets fucked up. The good thing here is while she runs around in the woods, she's basically in a see through wet-tee the entire time, thumbs up to those nipples. The one cool pay-off scene comes when she traps one of the McCoy's in a net filled with sharp hooks then beats him down with a sack full of stones before finally stuffing a lit road flare into his mouth.... ouch! Now that was cool! At the end, we see her man has turned nuts and is hiding under the old house biting heads off chickens like the geek we knew he was the 1st time we saw him in those too short shorts. This movie might be a bit better than I make it sound, but I'm from the South, so I know things a lot more exciting than this happen every weekend. If you wanna see some stalking in the woods action, Backwoods may fill the void. Hey, at least the female in this movie kicks ass and has cute boobs, a truly empowered woman.
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Rating: 7.6 out of 10.0 - 7 votes cast total
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