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Movie Review by The Gravedigger
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04.08.11
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This vampire movie begins with comic-book like illustrations during the title sequence. Then, it goes to a beefy bald guy driving a truck. This is Shawn Black, who looks like an ugly version of Vin Diesel (yes, you heard right). His passenger is a bad actress who exclaims "Those monsters, they killed her!" Their truck is being pursued by a whole legion of vampires on motorcycles and it looks like there is no escape. Before you can say "Road Warrior", the film then goes to "Three days earlier". Shawn is in the hospital and gives us a pseudo-bible voice-over about how vampires are part of a war against good and evil, then something about Revelations, blah blah blah. Oh, and he lost his family to bloodsuckers, which gives him this whole revenge angle. Unfortunately this guy's demeanor stays exactly the same throughout the entire flick-- monotone.
Cain (Vinnie Jones of MIDNIGHT MEAT TRAIN) is the leader of the bloodsuckers. He wants to eliminate "The Slayer", who turns out to be you-know-who. I simply had the feeling I've seen this all before. In fact, the best scene in the movie, in which a vampire butcher is chopping up humans, is lifted right from the Ridley Scott movie LEGEND (when the elves are all captured in Darkness' castle). And, of course, this movie would not be made if it wasn't for all the BLADE movies. There's a cameo by Armande Assante (JUDGE DREDD) and Michael Madsen is an alcoholic priest, Father Roy, who wears a black cowboy hat.
While there are some good production values and the vampires are vicious there's nothing you probably haven't seen before.
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Rating: nan out of 10.0 - 0 votes cast total
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