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Call Girl Of Cthulhu (2014)
Movie Review by The Gravedigger

Call Girl Of Cthulhu (2014) To tell you the truth, there's not a lot of indie filmmakers whose films I look forward to. But when indie director Chris LaMartina let me know he was sending me a review copy of his latest horror movie, I ushered it to the top of my review viewing list. I was not disappointed.

Carter, a sad sack of a young man--and an artist for the newspaper, the Arkham Post, wakes up from a daydream of Cthulhu and his robed followers, to find himself being interrogated by a masculine police woman about a massacre at the Church of the Starry Night. Carter then explains what happens via a flashback.

Carter watches a lot of porn, particularly a site run by Missy Katonna. His roommate is a punkish girl who creates noisome music and is always having sex with her boyfriend. He treats Carter like shit. Then Carter sees a prostitute visiting a frumpy guy (George Stover!) in his apartment building. This is Riley, who plays a key role to the rest of the movie. You see, she has this octopus-like birthmark on her ass, which means she is the one who can open the gate between worlds and bring forth Cthulhu. She's of particular interest to the manager of the Rotterdom Hotel, who is the leader of the cult. Meanwhile, a one-eyed professor, who looks like Penny Marshall, is staking out the hotel because she wants to prevent Cthulhu from being summoned. She steals the ancient book from him.

Carter, who doesn't want to be a virgin anymore, calls the prostitute agency--Tempest Mountain Escorts--and Riley comes to his door. She asks him what he wants and he surprises her when he says that he just wants to paint her. As he paints her he sees that she has that tentacles birthmark. They have a few more visits and Riley genuinely starts to like him.

The Professor sees Carter's artwork in the newspaper and wants to hire him to copy the book she had stolen. Her plan is to substitute this for the real one so that the ritual won't be able to open the portal. She, like the hotel manager, also wants to find the prostitute since the ceremony can't happen without her. Least to say, things don't unfold quite as expected...

Although there are some humorous moments, particular with the nods to the Cthulhu mythos (there's a brand of condoms we see called "Deep Ones by Loved Craft" and a Chinese restaurant named "Dagon-Wok"), this is a clever homage, not a spoof, of Lovecraft's work. In fact, I'd say it's up there with FROM BEYOND, RE-ANIMATOR and THE RESURRECTED (starring Chris Sarandon), other movies inspired by H.P. Lovecraft stories. Highly recommended. Check it out.

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