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Clash Of The Titans (2010)
Movie Review by The Gravedigger

Clash Of The Titans (2010) I had really high expectations for this movie. Unfortunately, it mega-disappointments and is one of the lousiest remakes ever. Worse than even THE HITCHER remake.

Granted, the original 1981 movie took liberties with Greek Mythology and borrowed from others, such as with the Kraken, which is from Norse Mythology ( in case you young whippersnappers didn't know that).

The premise is that he's the son of Zeus and a mortal woman, and is found by a poor fisherman who raises him as his son. Years later, Perseus' adopted family is all killed as collateral damage when the warriors of Argos demolish a statue of Zeus. There's a bunch of harpies and then Hades shows up and blasts the fishing boat out of the water. Perseus is the only survivor and is found by the surviving warriors and brought back to Argos. This is just in time for the King and Queen of that city to insult the gods again and Hades pops back up, telling them that in ten days time, during the eclipse, he will send the Kraken to destroy the city--unless they sacrifice their daughter, Andromeda.

It's revealed Perseus is a demi-god and is convinced to try to save the city, though he's doing it for his own reasons. He has no interest in Andromeda. Instead, he wants revenge on Hades, who killed his family. So he and some soldiers go on a quest to find a way to defeat the Kraken. When they encounter the Stygian witches, they reveal that the stare of Medusa could kill it. So they go after Medusa, who lives on the other side of the river Styx.

Well, the remake tries to be clever in having Perseus refuse all those gifts he got from the Gods in the first movie. He wants to do everything as a "man". And the gods themselves are nothing like the original and the parts horribly miscast. Liam Neeson is no Zeus and Ralph Fiennes portrays Hades as if he has bad constipation (not to mention the makeup people gave the character excema). Pegasus is now black, perhaps to appeal to a more diverse audience, and there's a cameo by the robot owl, which I thought was the smartest decision in the whole production. The giant scorpions are okay, there's a middle-eastern Djinn that blows himself up like a suicide bomber, and medusa is a disappointment. The big show of the Kraken itself is impressive in its size but lost some of it's juice when it lets out a Godzilla roar. When Perseus is crazily flying around on Pegasus, avoiding the creatures numerous appendages, I was really wishing I was watching AVATAR again, because that movie has way better 3-D. Also, Andromeda and Kalibos basically have cameos.

CLASH OF THE TITANS is flat, boring and egodsculates Greek Mythology. If you want to see something that's in the spirit of the original Ray Harryhausen movie go see PERCY JACKSON & THE OLYMPIANS instead. Trust me.

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