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Cremains (2001)
Movie Review by The Mortician

Cremains (2001) Anthology movie by Steve Sessions here. Not a bad movie, but not real good, either. Obviously inspired by the works of Dario Argento and maybe a little bit of the TWILIGHT ZONE, so Sessions' heart is in the right place.The wraparound story was very predictable and somehow a big selling point is supposedly 'the voice of Debra Rochon.' She's interrogating this guy about some things he may have been involved with. The problem is, I wanna SEE Rochon act, she's a great actress, not just hear her voice! This is really annoying and a letdown. The stories themselves are okay, but nothing groundbreaking. Seems to be the sum whole of most post-CREEPSHOW efforts.The first story has some lady drive into this strange town and become the victim of some kind of cult. I didn't understand this at all, but the big snake at the end was cool. What drove me nuts was the endless driving scenes (like that's suspense!) and the smeared, washed out look that camcorders have when filming car headlights.There was a vampire story, which amounted to two girls rolling in a hotel room bed, one trying to bite the other. Kimberly Lynn Cole did a good job and is always a pleasure to look at. The other actress has all her nude outakes on a seperate section of the disc, so if you're into that, it's there.Another story deals with some kind of zombie from the morgue coming after some people, but again, it gets veeeeeeery loooooooong, so you forget why it's even coming after these people. This one has some stylistic lighting and suspense, especially when a victim on the run hides in the attic. Nice use of sound here.I think there was another story, but I can't even remember what it was about. It's been a month since I watched this pup, and it's fading from memory fast!This was a decent attempt, but needed a serious 'final cut' for good pacing. Worth a look if you like anthologies, but don't expect anything too clever. The music was the most standout-ish thing about the movie---very inspired by the works of John Carpenter. Bravo on that!
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