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09.24.2017
Death-Scort Service (2015)
Movie Review by The Mortician
11.05.15

Death-Scort Service (2015) If you're a fan of movies like THE NEW YORK RIPPER and MANIAC and feel they don't make em like they used to...fear not, DEATH-SCORT SERVICE is here! Shot in Tampa, Florida [the new gore video movie capital of the U.S.!] by rising underground movie maverick Sean Donohue, this lovingly sleazy flick follows some Vegas hookers as they are knocked off by a crazed serial serial killer. [Set in Vegas with stock shots, filmed in Florida, in case you were wondering!] One of the biggest, most tired cliches of the slasher genre from the past is wisely ignored in this flick- and that would be the bumbling cops trying to solve the case routine. I was so happy not to have to endure that worn-out subplot cliche, which was cool back in the day for padding, but nowadays, forget about it! It's so OVER! For me, it's one of the most annoying aspects of getting through Fulci's classic NY RIPPER these days! Movies like MANIAC and HENRY wisely threw away the cop subplots, and I'm very happy to see DEATH-SCORT SERVICE follow suite. The padding in place of lame cops is exquisite, shapely naked ladies dancing and sexxxing it up! Cannot beat that, or you CAN beat off to it, anyway! So the sultry ladies of the evening band together and try to "solve the mystery" as opposed to the cops, and it works much better! They're easier on the eyes and we're treated to scene after scene of naked beauties showing off their hot bods to the camera---including a variety of golden globes, shapely asses, and nicely shaved pubis areas, which I loved! This movie doesn't hold back on showing it all, including glorious femininity, over and over again at a rousing pace. Hopefully this trend continues- and five erections up to the hot ladies that showed it all in this movie, true scream queens of the 21st century, including Krystal Adams, Ashley Lynn Caputo, Lisa Marie Cart, Jessica Morgan, Bailey Page, and Alice Reigns. For the lady viewers, I also glimpsed a dude's fat erection in a love scene, so...equality, man, equality, you know? Anyway, there's a black gloved maniac killing off the escorts, and the babes try to figure out who it is. Video screen legend JOEL D.WYNKOOP is suspect # 1 in flashbacks and turns in an awesomely sleazy performance as the [potential] killer---not since his grande heyday in '90's video sickness like CREEP and DIRTY COP has he been so solid! Wynkoop needs to do more scumbag crazy rules like this- he is totally believable in the parts, like Wings Hauser in the decade before him. As for the murder scenes, they are long, gruesome and unforgettable, very stylized in Italian gore flicks from yesteryear, There's also a scene where one "John" is eatin' out a lady red light [played well by hottie Ashley Lynn Caputo] and he comes up with a mouth full of blood! That was unforgettably outrageous and the scene with the killer assaulting a scream queen with a barbed-wire baseball bat with stick with you long after the movie ends---it's brutal, sickening, and expertly pulled off. And kind of erotic in a sickeningly, queasy way! Again, hats off to the incredible, brave scream queens so dedicated to their art that they embrace this type of EXTREME material. Kudos to all! There's also skinnings, mutilations, guttings, and a host of unsavory killings throughout, along with the aforementioned nudity to keep your interest. Throw in an excellent SCREAM-style plot twist at the end and you have just a stellar movie all around, worthy of repeat views. And wow, that baseball bat scene...scorched my brain permanently!

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