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Movie Review by The Drug Stuffed Corpse
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02.16.09
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Ron Atkins
Cut Throat
Personally, I don't see how a rich person could possibly taste any better than someone in a middle, or even lower-middle-class household. Nobody wants to eat poor people; although they grow in abundance (and they are rarely missed), 'substance abuse' (a polite way to say crack and/or meth-fucked bodies) and less than stellar nutritional habits make for stringy, tough meat. I held a single-blind taste-test with a table of celebrity anthropophagites: Nico Claux, Andrei Chikatilo and the 1972 Uruguayan rugby squad (whose plane crash in the Andes Mountains was the basis for the film Alive). Various plates of unidentified meat was served; all found the lower-middle-class meat the most tender and least gamey. All agreed that the poor meat was too greasy and entirely inedible. And then came the 'rich' meat: the general consensus was that upper class beef is too fatty and did not sit well on the palate. So afterward we all sat down and watched Eat the Rich. While not as entertaining as The Texas Vibrator Massacre, this poor mans massacre further carves a niche for Ron Atkins nonsensical exploitation gamut. Retelling Hooper's Chainsaw Massacre through the rose-colored glasses of an inedible, penniless schlub, Eat The Rich tells a tale of three brothers who have forsaken beef for long pig; humans; rich humans. The three, who are in dire need of a dermatologist appointment, go on a mad, gore-soaked spree of torture, murder and cannibalism. Ron lays the blood and gruel on thick, splashing the walls with buckets of viscera and ladles of insanity. The acting is predictably preposterous and the effects sophomoric, but Eat The Rich is gruesomely entertaining nonetheless...
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Rating: 10.0 out of 10.0 - 1 vote cast total
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