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12.03.2016
Friday the 13th (2009)
Movie Review by The Undertaker
02.25.09

Friday the 13th (2009) As with all these "new age" remakes, I was scared as shit going in. Would it suck? Why are they doing this? Of course, we all know why, its called mo-la. Friday grossed 46 million the 1st weekend on a 16 million budget. Need we say more? Anyways, I have been pleasantly surprised with most of these remakes, so I guess it shouldn't be so bad and it wasn't. I actually liked it and from what I saw in line and at the show, so did everyone else. I mean this movie was sold out or nearly sold out at every place I looked this Friday the 13th 2009. Guess people wanted Jason back in a big way and here he is. Basically it's a retelling and recombination of the 1st 3 or 4 original films. It begins from the end of 1 and progresses from there, letting Jason graduate from bag-over-the head to the infamous goalie mask that has always been associated with F13. The 1st 10 minutes were a fucking train wreck and if the film had continued at that pace we would have had some very special here. It does slow down though, maybe thankfully so for most, and we still get very good movie. Plenty of blood, boobs, dumb teens that really do need to be put out there misery before they reproduce, and a razor sharp machete that makes a sweet "schwing" sound every time Jason pulls it out (the machete that is) make the new Friday the 13th pretty cool in my book.

I like the way that Jason is a little smarter in this thing. Not just a mindless zombiefied robotic killing machine like in the last few films, we get a tricky, evil-minded, mean-spirited Jason that sets traps, kidnaps girls that look like mom, and is a seriously skilled archer. Say what you will about actors who've played Voorhees, Derek Mears does a damn good job. He even looks the part out of costume if you ask me. Lots of people are bitching about Jason running, trapping, and holding a hostage. Boo Hoo.... Look, Jason ran in part 2, don't believe me, go watch it. He ran like all over the place. The other stuff...who cares. He kept the chick cause she looked like Momma. He was kinda confused by Ginny in part 2 when she put on his Mom's sweater in part 2, so if you ask me it's a natural thing. Let's face it. You can't go back and what's done is done. This is a whole new movie. Did we want (or need) a line for line remake a la Psycho?? No, we didn't! I liked the way this turned out and how they tried to flesh out the Jason Voorhees character & add some new touches. Most of the kill scenes were pretty cool. Nothing special but decent enough. I liked the look of the film especially the scenes around the camp and in the woods. It did at times look a lot like the TCM remake, but overall it looked good. I will say this movie didn't have any of the atmosphere, feel, or creepiness of the original 2 movies. Like they say, whoever they is, they just don't make 'em like they used to. It does have a few "moments" but I still prefer the originals 1-4 myself. After that, the series became all just silly fun and a parody of its self. I will give the new Friday credit for trying to be a little serious and breathe some life into a once proud "franchise". I'm sure 2 will come soon as this made money and people seemed all hyped about it. Keep Derek Mears as Jason, stay in the fuckin' woods, and let's get some atmosphere and tension in the next one and I'll be happy. Leave the tits and gore for sure.

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