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12.16.2017
Friday The 13th (2009)
Movie Review by The Cenobite
07.10.12

Friday The 13th (2009) Jason Voorhees a name that any horror or sometime horror fan knows, but most people do not realize there was a 2009 reboot of the film series. Quickly panned and destined for dvd shelfdom, but I love this movie and by taking a closer look I will tell you why. The first twenty five minutes of the reboot has everything a slasher is known for tits, weed, death, and setup. After a quick flash of Jason's mom getting beheaded and little Jason picking up the machete to the tone of "kill them all for mommy" the film thrust into modern times. Five campers are wondering through the woods and we learn two of them are here to find a crop of weed, while the other three are here for a little campy time. Around the campfire Wade who is the funny guy tells the story of camp crystal lake and Jason the others shrug it off and quickly do what we expect talking and starting to fuck. We learn that Whitney has a sick mother at home and feels unsettled at this place her boyfriend Mike tells her its ok. The other couple start to fuck as Wade sets out to find weed to the tune of "Sister Christian" a funny moment I rather enjoyed. As Wade pees he realizes eureka he is pissing all over pot and bends down to moan his discovery and tell the pot he loves it. At this moment twelve minutes in we see the reboot Jason for the first time cloaked in shadows with a cloth wrapped around his head ala the second movie. The sound the steps make as Jason runs down Richie is awesome and frightening it becomes clear that this Jason is not playing around. Whitney and Mike explore the camp and find Jason's old house and we find out that Whitney looks a lot like Jason's mother. The other couple back at camp stop fucking because they think long dead Wade is spying on them. Richie rolls out goes looking for Wade only to find his body. Amanda is violently ripped from her tent by Jason and strung up over the campfire in her sleeping bag burning alive. Richie runs back hearing her scream to fall victim to a bear trap that snaps his ankle like a twig. As Richie screams and cries Amanda's charred lifeless body falls out of the sleeping bag dead with smoke coming out her mouth. At the house things go wrong for Mike and Whitney as a machete coming through the floor makes quick work of Mike's feet and hands. When we expect another machete strike Jason burst through the floor and grabs Mike who bleeding out of his mouth screams for Whitney to run! Whitney takes off back to camp and we see Jason jump out of the ground and start running yes folks running. Whitney finds the campsite and Richie is screaming for help she bends to help him when Jason splits his face with a machete knocks her out and intro is done. The first 25 minutes is great as is the whole film. Jared Padalecki of Supernatural plays a good hero and director Marcus Nispel delivers again. This is not the Jason we know this Jason hunts, traps, and for fucks sake he runs but it works. If you are a horror fan there are some splendid gore kills in this movie and the scene where former pop star Willa Ford dies is my personal favorite. Do yourself a favor and drop your horror ego and enjoy the tits, weed, and death.

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Rating: 6.0 out of 10.0 - 8 votes cast total
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