|
|
Movie Review by The Undertaker
|
04.11.03
|
For an old school, rubber-suit, giant monster bash, this film might be one of the most violent of its kind. Two kids decide it would be a fun idea to go for a ride on a spaceship they have found parked in the woods near home. Once on board, the damn thing takes off on autopilot and heads home to some wacky planet (Jupiter perhaps? maybe Uranus, I'm good for that joke once every sci-fi film review of course) with Gamera as an escort. The kids find out this planet ain't exactly friendly and soon witness the most horrible giant monster fight and deaths in history as Guiron and Gaos go at it for blood. For those not familiar, Guiron is a strange beast with a razor sharp, knife-blade shaped head that also has an opening that fires boomerang-like throwing-stars at its enemies. He's a bit bad tempered and is kept locked under ground until let loose to fight for the two mean chicks that run this toilet of a planet. Gaos is a bat-like winged creature with a laser beam death ray that it shoots from the mouth. Gaos is Gamera's oldest and most frequent foe, but here it picks a fight it should have flown away from. His laser beam gets deflected by Guiron's blade only to comeback and cut off cut off Gaos' leg. He hops for a few, then takes off, but Guiron has vertical and jumps up, cutting off one of Gaos' wings, sending him plummeting to the ground. It's all over at this point as Guiron then slices off the other wing, before decapitating the bat thing. He also slices off a few pieces, but finds the meat to stinky for his liking. All this is done as the kids watch on and laugh away. Man, I can't believe this film was released on the old just Just for Kids label, hahhaha, did they even watch this shit before releasing it? Anyway, like I said, Gaos gets his ass cut to ribbons. The kids try and get away, but nothing works as these space chicks are assholes. Gamera comes to help, but in his 1st fight with Guiron, he ends up falling into a lake and sleeping. Once he finally awakens, they have a great fight. Guiron can't quite crack up the super-turtle's shell though and Gamera out muscles old blade head. He throws Guiron into a rocky hill, sticking the creature into it by it's own blade. Guiron tries to use his stars, but Gamera ain't having it. The end for poor Guiron is a tough one as Gamera carries him into the air and drops him head first into the ground. Stuck upside down on it's bladed-head, it's defenseless and Gamera throws a missle he's found into the head and blows him up by igniting it with his flame breath. Gamera takes the kiddies asses back home in the banged up spaceship and we all live turtley ever after. This one is something to behold my friends.
|
Rating: 5.0 out of 10.0 - 1 vote cast total
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|