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House of 1000 Corpses (2003)
Movie Review by The Undertaker

House of 1000 Corpses (2003) Well what do you know, it finally got released and yours untruly finally got to see it. After reading mixed reviews, having my own preconceived notions & expectations (heavy TCM influence I pretty much expected and saw), and just plain waitin' so damn long to see this movie, I was ready if not worried about what I might see. Honestly, I loved it in spite of the weak points. I can tell you though, ain't no middle ground here folks, you're either gonna love it or hate it, one way or the other. House wears its influences on its sleeve for all to see. Older fans will see where this movie's coming from and going, but it sure is a hell of a fun ride getting there, at least to me it was. This movie isn't trying to be 'PC', cater to hipsters, or redefine horror films (at least I hope it wasn't), it's gory, at times funny and savage, has some nice sleaze and nudity (nice to see tits back in a horror film), and makes for a fun ride during its 1:28 runtime. Obviously, there have been tons of cuts made here. Some of the edits look to have tried to cover that up, but don't let that scare you off because it's still bloody and violent. House's overall weirdness and strangeness make it stand up well compared to what I've been seeing at the movies. I mean what are you gonna do, sit home and watch the fuckin' Scream trilogy and not go see this? Come on, House is a hell of a lot more fun. To me, that's what it all boils down to, it was fun and the last 30 minutes were creepy. The underground scenes in Dr. Satan's lair had a special kind of charm that any horror fans gonna love. The reviews I have read on this thing all range from either great or shit, not much in between, the greats outweighing the shits. All I can say is I enjoyed. All the veteran, cult actors in this thing delivered the way I had hoped. Sid Haig really did a great job with his Captain Spaulding and I really would have liked seeing more of him later in the film besides the end. Bill Moseley plays the psychotic Otis as only he can and you know what I mean there if you're familiar with his work in TCM2. As soon as he took the screen, I knew I was in for a cool experience. Karen Black and Sherri Moon play the ladies of this misfit family with a sexy sickness that's disturbing and alluring at the same time. Baby is the kind of chick all us guys would end up getting killed off by because she's too damn hot for you to give a shit about her obvious 'problems'. You know she's fucked up in the head, but would ya leave? Hell no you wouldn't leave until she's got her knife in your heart. The scene in the graveyard where Baby stabs the shit out Bill's bitchy girlfriend is one of the film's most brutal moments. It was kinda nice to see a 5'10' blonde straddle and kill another chick in such a horrid manner, then lick the blood off the knife, been a while since I saw that at the local multiplex. Personally, I can't wait to see the director's cut of this as it's meant to been seen, but for now, the theatrical release is good enough to make me happy. Sure, its influences are obvious and heavy (really this could be as much an homage to TCM and those ultra-violent drive-end days gone by as it can be viewed as a rip-off of such), but is that a bad thing? This is the most fun horror movie I've seen in awhile that didn't have a franchise name attached to it. I didn't say the scariest, or most original (though I did love the Dr. Satan underground at the end), but fun, yeah! For those of us over 30, it's easy to be picky and critical, since we've seen it all the 1st time around. For me though, it was nice to see something fun that did pay tribute to those flicks from 'the good ole' days', something that didn't try to be trendy or too fuckin' scared to go for it as much as the stupid ass MPAA will allow. A big name director can make a war picture with people being blown to bits and that's fine with everyone. Let anyone else try to show a nipple and a knife, the movie will get cut or get no release. House did at least help keep hope alive Jessie. It does have weak spots and does maybe try and rely on the past a bit too much. But don't pass it off as simply a TCM rip-off (which I kinda thought it was gonna be anyway and is in some ways), House has it's own uniqueness that makes it interesting and fun. The last 30 minutes had chills and nastiness enough to satisfy. There are several powerful scenes in this thing. I liked the cops & robbers shoot out scene with nothing but music and action. It might have seemed too much like a music video, but I have always wanted to see some films that relied more on music and pictures to convey a feeling than stupid ass talky-talk. The sets, the acting, and the feel of this were (for the most part) right on! The dialog was either funny and priceless or useless and boring depending on the scene, but again the good outweighed the bad. It needed more Captain Spaulding though and more history behind all the characters. Still, House of 1000 Corpses made me happy. I ain't sure what it'll do for you (don't really care neither), but I had fun. Hell, all us at Buried are disagreeing on this one I think. You know what they say opinions are like... right? My advice here is go see it and have fun. Don't expect some ground breaking new standard in horror film viewing pleasure, just enjoy. It's got enough style to keep you watching, enough sleaze and blood and tits too. Grab some friends and some beers (before hand of course J), get the girls, and go have fun with House. If you're a youngin', get someone 18 to help ya get in (better yet get someone over 21 so they can help ya with the beer thing too) and enjoy. If you're an old fucker like me, go see a small slice of what horror movies have been missing for a while. House might not start a new trend, but at least it was good to see something not so or not trying to be so damn pretty. Maybe it will be the small tip of the iceberg of good things to come, who knows? ' I know all about what you wanna know all about'- Otis
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Rating: 6.4 out of 10.0 - 28 votes cast total
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