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05.29.2017
House On Sorority Row, The (1983)
Movie Review by The Mortician
10.31.15

House On Sorority Row, The (1983) One of the quintessential early slasher movies that is highly regarded by most diehard fans of the genre. The director was allegedly a student of DePalma or shot some of his movies, something like that. Somehow I thought I had seen this movie back in the day, but with all the horror videos with SORORITY in the title, I had actually missed it until some thirty odd years later. Hard to gauge in this day and age, it seemed like one of the dryer slash flicks after the MPAA started to crack down on the gore [post FRIDAY THE 13th] and the sex scenes were ridiculously tame- though there were some topless babes to ogle and a lil' bit of ass seen, none of it was very memorable. The story has the now cliche plot of a group of sorority chicks that play a prank on their head mistress and end up accidentally killing her. Instead of going to the cops, they cover it up, hiding the body...and the body disappears...and someone starts knocking them off during a party. Could it be the allegedly malformed son that the head mistress had in the opening credits that supposedly dies? Well, when the doctor that oversaw the birth shows up in the final reels, it's pretty obvious. Dry gore, some okay suspense, gals over thirty playing teenyboppers, a killer that won't die...you get the picture here. Not sure why this one is so beloved, I actually thought it was SORORITY HOUSE MASSACRE when I caught up with it, and THAT one was a fave of mine in the VHS renting days, a Corman classic. This one is good for nostalgia past, but if you missed it back "in the day", hard to believe that it would deliver much for today's super fans that have seen so much by now. No standout scenes of gore or nudity, the hump scenes with shorts and clothes visible really annoyed me for some reason, and the doctor coming back at the end to cover up the mess gave it all away for me. Eh. You can do better, you can do worse than this one. Take it or leave it. I believe it inspired a 21st Century remake, SORORITY ROW...

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