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Human Centipede: First Sequence, The (2009)
Movie Review by The Spastic Cannibal

Human Centipede: First Sequence, The (2009) Anyone with the audacity to claim that there are "no original ideas left" in terms of film making, should check out this little film called "The Human Centipede". Yes, the real BIG controversial bombshell to hit the independent horror scene in the past few years and for those of you who are wondering - no, this film is not a gore-fest. It is not horribly explicit in any way, really. Thanks to the magic of marketing and overly squeamish people making their reactions public, you are undoubtedly lead to expect relentless carnage and pornographic sadism the likes of which are not meant for human eyes... "The Human Centipede" peaked my interest for this very reason before I saw it, and while you would expect to be let down due to the lack of balls-out brutality - I actually still found the film incredibly stunning, despite these revelations...

Clearly, the concept is what really sells the whole 'controversy' ploy: two outrageously dimwitted, young female New Yorkers are on a European vacation and experience car trouble while on their way to a night club. Of course, this happens on a wooded back road during a rainstorm and they are forced to trot to the nearest house for help. Thankfully, the man whose home they show up at, though suspiciously quiet and having an obvious predilection for large artwork displaying conjoined fetuses, allows them inside where he fetches them two glasses of drugged water and pretends to call a car service. Before long, the two broads are out like a light and wake up later in his basement, situated like a hospital room. He makes it clear in an over-head projected diagram that he intends on fusing the girls and a newly captured Japanese man into a 'human centipede'. This is to be done intricately by surgically linking their gastric systems through each of their bodies, and by connecting them mouth-to-anus through a process of skin-grafts...

That plot detail alone is so amazingly demented that I can see some people getting upset over the film's content. Personally, I really enjoyed it, though I didn't find the material to be as visually "disgusting" or "upsetting" as anticipated. It's the whole insane IDEA of the two end "pieces" of the human centipede having to swallow the feces of those before them (actually a pretty funny moment there), having their knee ligaments removed, etc, that makes the movie effective. So, sorry to say: NOT the sickest film ever made! Still, there are several stand-out moments that are undeniably well done. The character of the doctor is extremely creepy and evil. We get a good sense of his extensive mental illness and a scene in which two cops show up at his door leads to some VERY unexpected twists... A few complaints I have, though minor - I fucking WANTED to see mouths stitched to rectums! I'm not sure why they skimped and just didn't go all out and deliver on the ass-to-mouth spectacle! It's covered by some diaper straps! I'm sure most people will be split on it, but if you are curious and/or intrigued by what you hear about "The Human Centipede" than you should certainly check it out. I wouldn't go so far as to call it, say, a modern "Salo", but it's a likable film with a good, 'offensive' plot...

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