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King Kong (1976)
Movie Review by The Mortician

King Kong (1976) Loved this one as a kid and still holds up today! Always disappointed that the one-sheet made Kong seem so much bigger, with one foot on top of each World Trade Center tower roof, and in the movie, he's much smaller. (I stared endlessly at this artwork on my 7-11 Slurpee cup, pondering how EPIC he was, at age 8!) But still, Kong is awesome and full of emotion, wonder, and lust for the ever so sexy Jessica Lange. INTRODUCING JESSICA LANGE! Her first role, and holy smoke, what a looker she was in 1975! Her breasts are nearly spilling out of every outfit, somehow barely contained, and what legs! So gorgeous---the scenes where she's decked out in the tribal dress, barely covering her crotch...You can see why Kong and co-star Jeff Bridges were both so infatuated with this beauty! The scenes where the boat crew, looking for oil on an undiscovered island, find her floating in a raft after a boating accident, are incredible. The peaks and valleys of her hot bod are riveting- you just can't take your eyes off Ms. Lange. And can't forget when Kong bathes her in a waterfall, fingers her top down, and lets her swim in a translucent outfit...Lord HAVE MERCY!!! Bet the cameramen had constant boners! Anyway, oil seekers end up finding and capturing Kong, who is smitten with the gorgeous Lange, and trying to exploit him for money in NYC, where of course he goes on a rampage. Kong is full of emotion, and I don't care what anyone says, the blue screen effects and the giant mechanical hand have always worked great for me and sell the story in its totality. I am always so sad at the end where Kong puts Lange down to fight the helicopters and ends up losing his life to the evil, stupid humans. (Of course, fortunately he survived to appear in KING KONG LIVES with an obsession for beautiful Linda Hamilton, but that's a whole OTHER review!) I've always been a fan of the 1933 KONG, but this first remake is my favorite. Everything is delivered so well, from a Kong you most certainly care about and root for to a sultry, sexy, Southern smoking hot damsel in distress played to the hilt by Ms. Lange. She is a timeless beauty on celluloid and I could watch this movie every day. KING KONG '76, one of the greatest big monster movies of all time in my book! For me, KONG '76 is the DEFINITIVE version of this epic tale.

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