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09.29.2023
Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)
Movie Review by The Undertaker
12.17.03

Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003) ROTK equals absolutely fucking epic! Epic is used way too much and too lightly these days, but not in this case. This movie has raised the bar for anything to come. In the scope of film, I think this is the best damn thing I've ever seen. This trilogy has gone far beyond Star Wars in my eyes, growing stronger with each film, the 3rd certainly being THE hallmark. Yes, there's plenty for Tolkien purists to bitch about, but I don't think anyone will mind after seeing it, it's that jaw dropping. Like I said in the past concerning the 1st two films, the books is the classic truth, a movie based on such has to take a different route, especially to satisfy those pesky investors. Whatever may be the case, the whole trilogy captures the feel of the books in spite of the changes. Return of the King's battle sequences now reign supreme in film history for war. Nothing will ever touch this shit I think. The Battle of Pelennor Fields cannot be missed on a big screen. DO NOT wait for this shit to come to home video, you'll never get the same experience! The FX, the make-up, the story, and the feel are just beyond anything I've seen since I was a child. Even jaded assholes that bitch about any and everything in a film can't find much here I feel. I'm sure some will to look 'cool', but don't buy it. This movie rocks! I think I felt tears in my eyes when Theoden rides the boys into battle. Six thousand men, one woman, and one hobbit all screaming death will do that to ya I guess. When all is finally won, said, and done, the remainder of the fellowship reuniting at the end when Frodo wakes up, well, that was teary-eye time also. The lady sitting beside me was crying several times and I used deodorant before going, so I know it wasn't me. Never thought I'd see a cavalry charge of horsemen versus monster elephantmen, now I have. I have heard several reviewers (the ones that get paid that is) bitching about the final length. Trust me, you'll need that final 30 minutes or so to cool down from the rest and be able to walk out. Now go see the damn thing, it's that good my precious
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