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Massacre (2003)
Movie Review by The Undertaker

Massacre (2003) While killing off five dumb-ass campers doesn't exactly qualify as a massacre in my belief system, Joseph Clark's movie by that title seems to figure such. While it has some flaws, Massacre is a film that will keep you guessing with more questions than answers by films end. A couple hiking in the woods, the female of which is very busty, find a dead body in their path... or do they? From there, we see what caused aforementioned body to be in the woods in the 1st place. A group of six campers, three of which are sexy ladies not shy about nudity, head to the woods for a weekend of fun and sunshine. Luckily for us viewers, they also have a weekend of sex, 3-ways, and finally being slaughtered. I think I really became interested when the two chicks argue in the van, one calling the other a cumbucket! I was hooked after that funny shit. It takes awhile for the murders to begin, but that's what all the screwing was for I guess, as that held my interest. There's some silly back-story about one girls molesting ghost dad watching her, but who cares. She manages to be the slut of the group and die 1st (naturally), or does she? Most of the FX are lame, especially the digital that are used even for background shots at times, but I'm wondering if all that may have been intentional. The chainsaw scene that got such praise on the back cover looks dumb to me, but I'm jaded. By the end, you'll have had an enjoyable time and wonder what the hell you've just seen or haven't seen. I'm sure that's gotta be a good thing. One warning though, don't believe the box quote from one reviewer saying it's a mix of F13, Evil Dead, and American Psycho, that is a very, very vague as hell and wrong statement. Sure, they may be setting linked, but I didn't see Massacre trying to copy anything too hard.
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