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Movie Review by The Drug Stuffed Corpse
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02.06.09
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Directed by Pat Corbitt & Gary J. Tunnicliffe
Monarch
Sharks have always fascinated me. Unfortunately good shark movies are as common as their attacks in the Gobi Dessert; Red Water, Shark Attack 1, 2 and 3 - hell, even The Adventures of Mary-Kate & Ashley: The Case of the Shark was an utter fiasco. Us evil humans are playing God with the environment again by digging for oil in the icy waters off of Greenland. A pocket within the earth's plates is punctured, freeing a slew of extinct sea creatures including a 60' megalodon shark. Trapped 5,000' below the waters surface a team of workers and reporters must try to escape before the menacing shark eats them. Megalodon is a movie where even by suspending disbelief you still shake your head and wonder 'who okayed this?' Jaws 4 is Requiem For A Dream when compared to this bottom dwelling ass-barnacle. (As ridiculous as it was) At least Deep Blue Sea tried to explain why the sharks were not only vicious, but sentient beings fully aware of not only their abilities, but of mans weaknesses. The megalodon revels in his killing and seems to go out of his way to stalk and dispatch with purpose. What scares us about sharks is how vulnerable we are in their environment and their primitive, unpredictability. Placing the protagonists in an enclosure underwater diminishes the fear factor. There is no chance one of your flailing limbs will be shorn off in a savage attack. And by giving the shark purpose it stops becoming an unthinking eating machine and transforms into a mercurial killer. Whether via C.G.I. or painted sock-puppet the shark and all of its surroundings look ridiculous and further perpetuate the reality that Jaws was and is the only scary shark movie.
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Rating: 7.0 out of 10.0 - 1 vote cast total
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