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Movie Review by The Mortician
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03.15.02
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'Ya wanna see something REALLY scary?'Oops, sorry, wrong anthology film...'Just tell it to call you Billie...'Oops, missed again, said Britney.Ah well, it's those wild and crazy Polonia Bros. again, this time paying homage to CREEPSHOW with their version of a wacky anthology flick.Some dude breaks down and heads to a nerd's house to call for help. While waiting for a ride, he spins three stories 'of night thirst.'Hmmmm...One deals with a lady stuck in a mansion and being forced to mate with some creature (I think, I kept dozing off during this one...)after supposedly winning $25,000.00.Another has a psycho Santa attacking one of the Polonia Brothers and his daughter in July! (guess they shot this one when mom was out at the grocery store! Looked like there was just enough time to wrap it up and straighten up the house before she got back!)And yet another takes place in a hospital (cool location!), with a corpse (you guessed it, played by a Polonia!) stalking a very small staff...of two. Wish the hospitals near me were that sparse at any hour. Last time I was in the emergency room near midnight, there was a three hour wait!Then, back to the storyteller and the big twist ending!I promise, I won't give it away that both storyteller and listener...'have the night thirst!''Ya wanna see something REALLY scary?' Well, don't watch this flick.By the way, all the Polonia Bros. movies seem to clock in under 60 minutes without the credits (making things run at an astounding 64, 65 minutes).How can they release these as features? Isn't feature-length, like, 72 minutes +?Ah well, they just FEEL like they're Stephen King miniseries in length, that's all. No need for padding, guys, we've seen enough!No encore is necessary.
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Rating: 7.0 out of 10.0 - 4 votes cast total
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