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08.20.2017
Pieces (1982)
Movie Review by The Mortician
12.08.14

Pieces (1982) One of my fave bad slasher movies of all time, this one delivers on its tag line: "You don't have to go to Texas for a Chainsaw Massacre!" A young boy is putting together a nice puzzle of a naked woman when his irate mom interrupts and slaps him around. He takes an ax and chops her up into little pieces in a most graphic murder scene! Credits begin and it's 40 years later...where murders at a college start happening and PIECES of each girl are missing from each crime scene...like someone is putting together a HUMAN PUZZLE! Ah, the traumatized little puzzle boy has grown up into a MANIAC! Red herrings include the school's psychotic looking handyman, a Norman Bates-ish anatomy professor, and a few wacky students. Police investigate. Atrocious dialogue ensues. An undercover female cop infiltrates the campus in order to draw the killer out. Police remain twenty steps behind the madman, who walks around chainsawing people up in broad daylight, there's even a classic scene where he's HIDING the chainsaw behind his back (!!!) when entering an elevator to kill a coed! Throw the hilarious plot, the bad acting, and the plot full of holes away. What's stellar here is the most excellent nudity and gore. Girls strip down and swim naked in pools. Girls cavort topless in the locker room. Girls romp around nekkid on water beds before being murdered on it in most gruesome fashion with a butcher knife. There's gratuitous 80's workout dancing with girls in sexy leotards and thigh-high warmer stockings. The killer leers at them, breathing heavy, as we spy on them with him. Classic slasher staples here, badly executed but so bad it's a fun romp and again, the gore setpieces, chainsaw dismemberments, and stalking action make PIECES an all-time classic slasher movie that should NOT be missed by connoisseurs of such trash! For the lady slasher fans, there's even a gratuitous dong flash by the lead stud helping the undercover police chick out. Also, endings don't get much better than this, and wow, how the hell did they get that towel to fall off of the killer's masterpiece with such perfect choreography? A movie that just gets better with each and every fevered view!

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Rating: 9.4 out of 10.0 - 5 votes cast total
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