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12.17.2017
Piranha 3D (2010)
Movie Review by The Undertaker
08.22.10

Piranha 3D (2010) Finally...Finally...Something I can get excited about! Alexandre Aja's Piranha 3D is THE fuckin' shit! Wall-to-wall tits & ass and gore make this one of the best remakes ever, even better than his Hills Have Eyes which I loved also. I'm a huge fan of the original film and I was happy to see the 2010 version not only paid respect to that film, but oh my my, goes far, far beyond. With a slightly different plot than the original concerning the fishys and where they come from, this film plows ahead like a runaway lawnmower, spraying the screen fully red from start to finish!

Did I mention T & A? Honestly, I can't believe they packed so much in one film! It's like going back to the 80's, but hell this had more shit than most films back then to be honest. You can't go wrong seeing young, nubile coed tits and ass and stupid college drunk jerks being ripped to pieces by prehistoric piranhas. And they do get ripped to pieces, trust me. The make-up FX here are beyond top notch and not some dumbass digitized crap either, most of the gore is the kind we love. I liked the fact that everything takes place over like 2 days and gets right down to the chewin'. Wouldn't hungry piranhas get the job done pretty fast when you have a lake full of drunk, partying, college food? The best line ever might be when the jerk director is hauled back on the boat after being shredded to pieces and goes "They took My Penis!". Fuckin' Gold, my friends!

There were some cool cameos in here too from Richard Dreyfuss who meets the fish 1st and Christopher Lloyd who plays the crazed looking fish expert. They were on screen long enough to be cool, but not enough to be annoying. Eli Roth even pops up for a sec. I only wish Dina Meyer had stuck around for a little longer. Always love looking at her. Everything about this works and the 3D shit is good, like My Bloody Valentine, but even better to me. The 3D on Clash of the Titans sucked and I was kinda scared this would too as far as the FX, but they filmed this shit right! Sure there's plot holes, bad acting, and a few things horror nerds can gripe about, but honestly isn't that true of most of the older "classics" we hold in such high esteem too? Alexandre Aja proves once again that he's one of the best horror guys these days. Piranha 3D bites like a giant human blender and never lets up. Don't be afraid to go as it looks way better than that shit they make on "SCYFY" these days...god what the fuck happened to that channel? This movie's got it all in spades! Long live TITS and GORE!

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Rating: 8.1 out of 10.0 - 7 votes cast total
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