Watched this one cause I thought it'd be erotic. I'm not a huge vampire buff so it typically takes some kind of special persuasion in the way of smut and/or extreme gore in order to draw me in to these vamp flicks. Unfortunately, "Razor Blade Smile" didn't quite make the grade. Not that I didn't find Cher-looking vamp broad extra radiant in all of her blood sucking hotness, though the film swapped blood-streaked ta-ta's and a cohesive storyline with reprehensible tedium.
A 19th century woman is bitten by a vampire and given the whole everlasting life malediction in an opening scene that makes a desperate aim towards "artistic" merit with it's black and white and red color tones, yet lost it during the awfully hacky James Bond -type opening credit sequence. At this point my attitude toward "Razor Blade Smile" was fairly impartial and just ready for a hard-hitting vampire ride and seeing the lead vamp babe sleuthing around in her skin tight leather, Catwoman ensemble - whipping out firearms and being a regular bad ass was enough to have me fist-pumping in my seat. Turns out, she's a modern day vampire hit woman who gets mixed up with another corporate vampire who wants to take her down...
To my dismay, very little on-screen sex is shown in the movie and the gore is prohibitively tame. Aside from the two obvious "perks" that "Razor Blade Smile" excluded, the film is an immensely boring representation of the vampire mythology - attempting to reinvent the "rules" (vampires can be exposed to sunlight as long as they wear hip sunglasses, apparently, and they also like to hang out with wannbe vampire goths) - only haphazardly slapping phony looking fangs on terrible actors and having them hiss annoyingly EVERY time they lean in to bite someone. Vampire shoot outs only seem like a heavy cliché at this point and when you have 'em wielding samurai swords... well, it's hard to mess THAT up! "Razor Blade Smile" did and for that, the film becomes absolutely deplorable with each passing minute of runtime! Avoid.