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Red Water (2003)
Movie Review by The Undertaker

Red Water (2003) Wow, this looked like made for cable crap to me which I later found out it was. Lou Diamond Phillips tries hard to make this okay, but there's no hope here. The plot winds around a bull shark getting up river and eating a few people... very few. This thing needed way more action in that respect. The couple of attacks you do see aren't bad, but too few and far between for my tastes. Of course, there had to be some other dumb ass plot element thrown for no reason as we get some goof ball gangsta and some Aussie goof trying to find some drug money thrown in the river 3 years prior. The token rapper here is Coolio, playing the hardened criminal looking to get that money back. Sorry, I found him about as imposing as Barney. Don't know about the rivers near you, but all of 'em around here would have took that shit and ran it to the sea in three years. The little box the find was supposed to stay in place or in proximity that long? It is to laugh. Poor Lou spends the whole film getting his ass kicked until the end when they drill the shark. Now, I loved this shit. The shark comes up to bite some ass and they drop a huge industrial drill down its throat, totally mauling this poor ole' bull shark. This sad excuse for a movie does pay off with the one of the best shark killin's I have seen. Go figure.
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