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Horror movies, horror movie reviews, interviews, fiction reviews and more... Horror of Buried.com
Horror movies, horror movie reviews, interviews, fiction reviews and more... Horror of Buried.com
Horror movies, horror movie reviews, interviews, fiction reviews and more... Horror of Buried.com
Horror movies, horror movie reviews, interviews, fiction reviews and more... Horror of Buried.com
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09.30.2016
Retardead (2008)
Movie Review by The Drug Stuffed Corpse
05.28.09

Retardead (2008) Directed by Rick Popko and Dan West

4321 Films

It was when I pretended to interview George Romero a few years back in respects to the mass influx of zombie films flooding the 99-cent clearance bins worldwide, that I broached the quixotic notion of the Zombie Paradox (copyright LM Campbell); while not as brilliant or farcical as Heller's Catch 22, it does delve ever so close to that realm in sheer cinematic absurdity. The Zombie Paradox (parsimoniously) postulates that the zombie film is the easiest and concertly most difficult film to successfully create (to avoid verbosity, the definition of the word 'successfully' have been expurgated). The ease comes with any pseudo-auteur with a video camera, some green face paint and a $50.00 coupon valid at the nearest butcher shop; (unfortunately) anyone can (and by the amount of them, everyone does) make a zombie film. However, the crux of the paradox sifts through the miasma of contemptuous cannibalistic clones and demands a deft hand to manipulate character development and dialogue for a zombie film to be truly 'successful'. There is far too much 'heap on the splatter, the plot doesn't matter' in zombie films and not enough humanity in the inhumanity; this glut of guts makes it difficult to pull the awful from the offal. The truly good ones (read: watchable) are zombie films by circumstance; the zombies are merely a trigger that the humans respond to - an outside stimuli that affects action and reaction. It is how that reaction is interpreted that adds to the films dynamic flair. Retardead is sorta one of those films that manipulates the Paradox; it is light-years away from Shaun Of The Dead, Planet Terror, Schindler's List or any other action, comedy, zombie hybrid. However, with it's puerile humour, nods to classic horror and exploitation films I never watched, and an abundance of profanity, I could not help but love this zom com with aplomb. Retardead is like some of the better Troma films - but the 'look how shocking we are' attitude seems more earnest and natural - oh, I guess I should also add that Retardead is (unlike some of the better Troma films) actually funny and entertaining as well. We may never see a Criterion edition of Retardead, but directors Rick Popko and Dan West (who also starred, wrote, catered, and took turns as 'retard-wranglers') have created a truly audacious film with a title that is in no way an enticing piece of false-advertising. Retarded actors - sorry, I mean actors acting retarded are culled into the basement of the local (un)learning centre by Dr Stern (who helped turn a serial killer into a shit monster in Monsturd) after his anti-retard serum turns the small-bus crew into a deranged pack of innards eating zombies. After they escape, it is up to a couple of inept deputies, their onanistic sheriff and a ronin FBI agent to save the town. Do they succeed? Of course they do (well, kinda), but the journey is much more satisfying than the destination.

(For an unexpurgated version of The Zombie Paradox contact Buried.com, or simply send 3 monthly payments of $29.95 to my Paypal account...)

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