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08.17.2017
Run! Bitch! Run! (2009)
Movie Review by The Spastic Cannibal
03.26.10

Run! Bitch! Run! (2009) Ah yes. Yet another generally proclaimed "throwback" to 70s drive-in horror/exploitation that only further reminds us die-hards out there that the glory days of those beloved genres are well behind us... After the disappointing "House of the Devil", the novelty of these passe, retro-ish flicks has worn itself out for me... "Run! Bitch! Run" is pretty much a combined remake of all 70s/80s rape/revenge flicks like "Last House on the Left, "Ms .45", and "I Spit on Your Grave", only without any kind of disturbing 'edge' or cognizance of the possibility of decent film making...

The first fifty minutes are like a much slower moving version of "Last House" - two Catholic school girls arrive at a rural, redneck town to sell bibles door-to-door. They end up being spotted witnessing the murder of a prostitute and are held captive and tortured by a house full of degenerates. One of them is killed while being forced to play Russian roulette and the other is taken out to the woods where she is raped and left for dead. She is hospitalized and after an undisclosed amount of time, she seeks out revenge...

The writer/director of this movie was clearly working from a entirely uneducated viewpoint or else he was set out to make the most ineffective exploitation flick ever. The gang of 'bad guys' were obviously intended to come across as "ultra-sleazy", but are so embarrassingly cartoony and 'comical' that nothing they do can even MODERATLY be interpreted as threatening. There's needless, drawn-out scenes with them that go absolutely nowhere! The one stuttering jag-off is spotlighted in one ridiculous scene in which he argues with a bartender over his tab, harasses a stripper, argues with the bartender again and, at about the ten minute mark of this scene, he is finally shot by our tattered heroine. None of that scene was necessary! Then these two coke-whores are seen yammering on for what felt like an hour before the one is finally killed... Come on! The last half of this movie is just tedious padding! The leader of the rapist clan is THE most irritating character I can recall seeing on film and his death scene was very much ripped-off from "Baise Moi". And why the hell was the kid from the "Halloween" remake in this! Celebrity guest appearance? Hardly! Yet another purposely NEEDLESS five minutes taken up! About 90 percent of this movie contained no merit or respect for the classic 'exploit' films it is trying to homage, no sense of heroism (the last shot of the movie was tantamount to a mucus wad from the director hitting you square in the eye!) and the tacky construction and pacing made it simply boring and boarderline unwatchable...

"Run! Bitch! Run!" - despite it's catchy title - is a putrid mess of infuriating failure that isn't a "tribute" to 70s rape/revenge films, but a broken hemorrhoid disguised as a "film" that pissed me off for 90 minutes...

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