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Horror movies, horror movie reviews, interviews, fiction reviews and more... Horror of Buried.com
Horror movies, horror movie reviews, interviews, fiction reviews and more... Horror of Buried.com
Horror movies, horror movie reviews, interviews, fiction reviews and more... Horror of Buried.com
Horror movies, horror movie reviews, interviews, fiction reviews and more... Horror of Buried.com
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09.25.2016
Satan's Black Wedding (1976)
Movie Review by The Undertaker
10.09.03

Satan's Black Wedding (1976) The weirdest 60-minutes I've laid eyes on in a while. It didn't win an academy award, surprisingly, but it will make you cry. Two key things to point out here, the incredibly bad vampire/ghoul teeth and the sick intentions revealed at the end. See, this girl kills herself at the insistence of some vampire-looking dude. Her brother arrives to investigate and discovers some sick little novel sis and a friend have been working on. The plot thickens, we see possibly the worst teeth in horror history, and the brother bangs sis's friend in bad lighting. Bad lightning ruins a sex scene and kills my perv radar by the way. I saw one would-be bloodsucker female attack another and it reminded me of a chicken pecking the ground for a worm. Again, the teeth awed me, I mean there were not just four huge canines, but a whole mouth full or protrusions going everywhere. Vampires 14, dentists nill. By the end, brother has found out his trampy sister and her friend are Satanists and vampires. In fact, his sister has risen from the dead thanks to the lead ghoul who happens to also be a priest, as if Catholic priests needed anymore bad press. Well, seems Satan has real plans for the siblings, in fact he wants them married and to breed his son, Satan's lil' deformed incest baby! He's planned it since the two were kids, so says the priest. Yikes, what a destiny, I get to grow up and bang Lucifer's kid into my sister, after college of course. The brother bolts, cause his undead sister with bad fangs isn't as hot as she once was, and drives away. Satan (I mean a picture of a goat) ain't havin' it, forcing the guy off the road. The bloody couple share nuptials as the credits roll. I am not making this shit up and I only had two beers during the movie, so there!
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