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10.20.2017
Star Trek Into Darkness (2013)
Movie Review by The Mortician
09.11.14

Star Trek Into Darkness (2013) Being a CLASSIC Trekkie here, I really enjoyed this movie. Even better on a second viewing! The cast playing young versions of the CLASSIC crew are phenomenal and more than good enough for Government work here. Chris Pine as Kirk, channeling all things Shatner, and Zachary Quinto as Spock are perfect in their roles. It's almost like really watching 'em before the CLASSIC show's 5 year mission began! Same for McCoy and Scotty, very pleased with the actors and their spin on the characters. And Uhura, oh yeah, is she sexy or what? Zoe Saldana is so hot that even cold, emotionless Spock warms up to her and dogs her on the side. Niiiiiiice. And man does Zoe's shape fill that uniform out! Would love to Uh! All Night with the new Nu Uhura! Oh, yeah, back o the MOVIE: Then there's the PARALLEL UNIVERSE bit, where the storyline and character progression can be altered because they're on a different path than their "other selves." Love it, kind of a nod to MIRROR MIRROR and Spock with a beard, right? Or CITY ON THE EDGE OF FOREVER. I can only hope there truly IS a parallel universe for us all, and somewhere in an alternate time, I'm that rich, successful porn star stud I always wanted to be! Back to the flick- Leonard Nimoy guest stars as alternate universe "Yoda Spock", and that's very cool. He gives his alternate self Spock some wise advice. This time around, the action is fast and furious, never letting up as Kirk, Spock, and the ENTERPRISE crew battle a terrorist that is blowing up Starfleet headquarters around the globe. Turns out it's the alternate universe KHAN, and though Benedict Cumberbatch (what kind of name is THAT?!?! They could've just used that as the villain's name!) is cool beans in the role, he's no CLASSIC Ricardo Montalban, who truly OWNS that character throughout all time and space. But Benedict is no traitor, he's adequate. Plot boils down to Khan wanting to defrost his crew from those pesky deep freeze tubes once again and Kirk and Spock trying to outwit him in cat and mouse games. Very cool battles, the ENTERPRISE is nearly decimated for the umpteenth time, and there's a weird role reversal with Kirk and Spock at the end (echoing WRATH OF KHAN a little too closely!) that works despite it being a little hokey. When Spock looks up and screeches out Khan's name in despair, I couldn't help but think of George Costanza in the famous SEINFELD episode spoof, though. Spock gets his groove on in the end and becomes kind of the hero, I liked that twist! INTO DARKNESS worked for me and I had a great time with it. Really groovin' on this whole "prequel" of the CLASSIC crew concept- it works for this old Trekker, or Trekkie, or whatever. Director J.J. Abrams peppers the movie with lens flares, R2-D2 cameos, and even an opening bit that's quite the homage to RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK, if you're taking notes. Fun stuff all around, and must be so nice having a major studio giving you hundreds of millions of dollars to make the ultimate fan film! I'm so there, though, and you should be too!

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