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Train (2008)
Movie Review by The Mortician

Train (2008) What started out as a remake of the well-known (but not quite classic) Jamie Lee Curtis movie TERROR TRAIN rapidly turned into something else entirely, an "original" movie entirely, so say the producers of TRAIN. However, the movie could easily be called HOSTEL 3, and if that's the kind of thing you're looking for or into, you definitely won't be disappointed! TRAIN stars actress Thora Birch (from AMERICAN BEAUTY) as one of a group of college students who are attending wrestling championships around the world. Like the HOSTEL movies, we find ourselves in an ominous, bleak, and frightening Eastern Europe. When Thora and a group of her cronies decide to slip away from chaperones for a night of rave partying the night before they're scheduled to leave...you can bet the farm they're gonna run into shady characters and end up missing their train home. A friendly female stranger (much like the gal who lured in victims in HOSTEL 2) assists the group with finding a train home and of course...it's run by psychos who are looking for victims. So here we go..."All abooooooard!!!" TRAIN has a nice twist *SPOILER HERE* in that the crazy murderers are overseen by a doctor who is harvesting organs from the victims for "those in need." There's a bit more to it than that, but the movie definitely makes a big statement on organ transplants and those who are getting the fresh goods...Like Eli Roth's HOSTEL movies, TRAIN is based on news accounts of this kind of thing really happening in different parts of the globe, which definitely makes it kind of spooky. The movie pulls no punches on the gore score- there's dismemberments, autopies, eyeballs plucked out of sockets, intestines splattered across a train car and oh-so-much more. There were several moments that definitely made me queasy and even look away, including a bit where a male character steps on all these rusty nails jutting up out of the floor and a scene where one downed victim is urinated on by two guys at once---and the camera is the POV of the victim! This flick definitely pulls no punches. TRAIN is done in the style of the torture movies like HOSTEL, and as I mentioned, could easily be a third entry in the series. The action, pacing, and suspense are decent as the movie goes on (even though the plot does run a bit thin by the 50-minute mark), but it generally keeps your attention. Ms. Birch was okay in her part, but nothing special- obviously just drawing a paycheck from the venture, but she did a decent job in her part. Anyway, if you're looking for more grue than you can shake a stick at and enjoyed the heck out of HOSTEL movies, this is the next TRAIN you want to board. It takes you to the destination promised! Just be ready to take a shower when the end credits roll...you'll want to wash the blood off.

Directed by Gideon Raff

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