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Trespass (2011)
Movie Review by The Mortician

Trespass (2011) Have been on a bit of a Nicolas Cage binge lately, and this one is an odd movie. Very self-contained in one location, Cage plays a rich dude that ignores his hawt wifey (Nicole Kidman, who DOESN'T go nekkid in here for some bizarre reason- more points against it!) and daughter in favor of being "married to his job" as some kind of diamond curator money mogul. When thieves bust into his house one night and demand that his safe be open, Cage refuses and things get rough as the three baddies struggle to get him to open the safe. Who will survive and what will happen? It's weird, though, this movie is like a bad stage play that doesn't work! The baddies are like the HOME ALONE invaders, inept and stupid and walking so many plot holes that it's looks like they could fall into a bottomless pit! One of the crooks may or may not have had an affair with Kidman, and there's bizarre flashbacks to that, and when the cops and security company that arms the house get involved, your suspension of disbelief seriously goes right out of the window with how unrealistic things pan out. Amazing that a studio movie with such a fine cast would have a script so badly written, but it's all here and right in your face to the max! Cage wasn't even fun to watch in this, because he isn't anywhere near the scenery chewing whack job that he usually plays in his movies---here, he's just a 50 pound weakling, constantly being beat up by the baddies and whining his way out of trouble, over and over again. Again, the script...atrocious! A star or two could've been added if Kidman would've showed her wares, but damn, we didn't even get that here. Definitely one to skip, and nowhere near as good as the TRESPASS from yesteryear starring Bill Paxton and Ice Cube, check that one out instead! Why can't Hollywood even think of new titles to name their movies, anyway?

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