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Video Dead, The (1987)
Movie Review by The Boogeyman

Video Dead, The (1987) Ah, isn't it nice sometimes to kick back and watch a little T.V.......HOLY F***K, ZOMBIES ARE COMING OUT OF THE T.V. And thus we have the basic premise behind The Video Dead. It's not the worst horror movie I've seen, but it's far, FAR from the best. Basically we have this posessed (or something) T.V. that plays one zombie movie all the time (except the naked chick, more on that later). The zombies come out of that movie through the T.V. (pre-The Ring days when emerging from a television set required fog and electric currents running around where the television screen was at one time) and proceed to munch down or just kill anyone around. After the zombies pop out of the screen when this mysterious T.V. is mistakenly delivered to a suburban writer and proceed to kill him (not eat him), we skip ahead 3 months to a Sister (Zoe) and Brother (Jeff) moving into the home. Their folks are away in Saudi Arabia, and they've been given the task of moving in. Jeff is given a lapdance by some woman who comes out of the T.V. and then sees her get her throat cut back inside the T.V. (revealing her as a zombie) by some guy we never see again. A Texan comes by to tell them they're all doomed, but no one listens. Then, after wandering around aimlessly in the woods for three months, the zombies come back and start to kill again, including Jeff's other love interest (besides T.V. zombie girl). Yes, the famous 80's 'random teen blonde girl.' The Texan comes back and both He and Jeff leave Zoe at the house while they go out to make zombies think they're dead again by 'killing' them with a cheap fiberglass bow and arrow set you might see in a toy store. Most of the time they disregard the shotgun they have, but Jeff (being a big Texas Chainsaw Massacre fan) does love to make zombie steak out of the miniature chainsaw. I'm not going to give away the Climactic (I fell asleep the first time) ending, but I'll tell you this...put on your best fake smile and zombies won't hurt you. Writer/Director Robert Scott is definitely no Fulci or Romero. The zombie effects were pretty cool, but that's about it. The dialogue is nothing to go wild for. The characters are annoying and plastic. For some reason, the zombies find things like spinning blenders and a woman dying in a washing machine hilarious and actually giggle. Giggling zombies. I'm glad I didn't buy this crapfest. Like I said, the only real redeeming qualities are the zombie effects. Nothing else. This is one of those direct to video products that end up as a level support for shelving or on the very back row of some dusty homegrown video rental store. If you're a die-hard zombie fan, check it out for laughs, but if you're looking for true zombie horror...well...keep looking.
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