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Boa (2002)
Movie Review by The Undertaker

Boa (2002) Boa finally completes the circle of giant snake films. I hope now someone will work on the venomous species or combine a few. Boa is a decent film and lots of people get the bite and squeeze. My biggest complaint is that all the attacks are very, very fast and you see not nearly enough of the creature. I guess this is due to the 'puter FX. The monster boa looks decent though, better than some 'puter shit I have seen. Now my second biggest complaint, where did a giant Boa come from in the South Pole? Yeah I know it's in a prison and was dug up from way down below, put it's cold down there. Wanna kill it? Then just open the fuckin' door and freeze the bastard. I know it was hiding around some kind of heat pipe, but cut 'em off. Honestly, would you rather freeze to death or be eaten? I think we could out last it till it freezes. Well, shit on the logic. This thing runs around the super secret maximum-security prison eating asses left and right. Then the call in Superman...uh, I mean Dean Kain who plays a paleontologist pretty shittily. He and his wife get thrown into this fucked up situation by the government of course and by the time they arrive with a crack team of soldiers to take the snake out it's already too late. They have 12 hours to kill it and leave or the plane freezes. Why they just all didn't leave and open a door to freeze it and the prisoners on the way out, saving the remaining asses in the process is over my head. Basically everyone dies and it's up to a few smart criminals to save the day. Guess what? They all die to and only Superman and his old lady make the flight back. A fitting ending I suppose. Boa gets 3rd place among the giant snake movies in my opinion, but it is a good movie. Could have been a lot better in some ways, glad it wasn't worse.
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