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09.21.2017
Curve (2015)
Movie Review by The Mortician
05.28.16

Curve (2015) You'd think by now, with all the movies made on the subject, women and couples traveling alone who break down would not take help from strangers. Or pick up hitchhikers. Or help ANYONE out on the endless highways of nowhere. Well, those common sense roles are broken once again for this interesting and riveting (at times) thriller with a small cast. Julianne Hough is driving through the wilds of Colorado, the scenic route that looks suspiciously like the same winding roads Jack Torrance drove to get to the Overlook Hotel. Anyway, Julianne is traveling to meet her fiance in Colorado, all by her lonesome, driving his old beat-up Blazer that looks like it's seen better days. For some reason, she's wearing a flimsy tank top, short-short Daisy Duke shorts, and cowboy boots and looks, frankly, like a porn princess good enough to eat. When she breaks down in the middle of nowhere, on the scenic route, her journey has already taken some skewed turns. She found porn DVDs under the seat that she doesn't approve of her hubby to be having and also keeps talking to her sister, who insists that she's NOT actually going to marry the guy she's going to meet. As her journey progresses, she's obviously having doubts! Severe ones. Broken down, a hiker appears out of nowhere, played as Mr. Nice Guy, Mr. Good Samaritan. Teddy Sears does a great job in his part, going from nice guy to psycho and back and forth at the drop of a dime. He gets Porn Princess' Blazer started again and sends her on her way. He refuses to take money or anything from her, and she has the opportunity to drive on. But she stops, insists on giving him a ride, and then begs to take him to a little local motel up the road, where she says she will buy him lunch. Here it's kind of implied that she's mad at her fiancee and maybe might want to casually fuck Mr. Stranger, and this sets him off. He takes her at knife point, begins talking dirty to her, and makes her drive toward an abandoned place where he plans to rape and murder her...even when he could, quite possibly, be getting the action for free without force or murder involved. Hough is a pistol though, and decides to drive through the barrier of one of those scenic route drops, which takes the duo in the Blazer rolling down hundreds of feet, if not more, into the deep woods by a stream. Hough finds herself pinned in the vehicle and unable to escape, whereas Psycho Hitchhiker Sears makes it out just fine, and leaves her in her predicament, a'la crazy Annie in MISERY. He does keep checking back with her every 12 hours or so as she remains pinned inside her upside down Blazer, taunting her with stories on how he's killing hikers and cabin dwellers in the area to purge them of evil. He also leaves her a hack saw in case she's got enough balls to cut part of her leg off to free herself from the vehicle! Things get crazier from there as the middle of the movie is pretty much Julianne trying to survive, stuck in her smashed up vehicle, and if you haven't seen the trailers to this one, you won't know quite what to expect. Will she get out? There's some harrowing scenes where she kills, cooks, and eat a rat to stay alive, and even drinks her own urine to satisfy her thirst. We catch up with Psycho Boy at the end and let's just say he has a final confrontation with some people he's terrorizing in a cabin and this movie keeps you guessing as to what will happen next. Taut, suspenseful, and fun to watch, CURVE is a good one that somehow fell between the cracks. Worthy!

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