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Dracula 3000 (2004)
Movie Review by The Gravedigger

Dracula 3000 (2004) This newest incarnation of the Bram Stoker tale sucks on about every level. The small crew of a salvage spaceship encounters lost freighter The Demeter, which has been drifting in space for fifty-years. They find it abandoned-and soon after their ship is mysteriously disconnected, leaving them stranded on the powerless derelict. They soon find an ancient-looking corpse (belonging to a character portrayed by Udo Kier, who is in the movie for a cumulative five minutes) and his video log, which explains that someTHING is changing the crew on the ship. Then they encounter all of these coffins on one of the decks. The first person to become vampiric is that portrayed by Coolio, who is this perpetually stoned character named '187' (which is a dumb joke). Mina (Alexandra Kamp), who looks like a young Kyra Sedgwick, is the second to succumb. Casper Van Dien (MODERN VAMPIRES, STARSHIP TROOPERS) is Captain Van Helsing, who finds out via the computer bank that he has a legacy to fulfill.The entire movie plays out exactly as you think it will. I wish the story was more of a continuation of the Dracula tale rather than trying to update it to the year 3000. For example, the galaxy they are in is called the Carpathian Galaxy and the planet that Dracula originates from is called Transylvania. Dracula, or Count Orlock, as he is called, is in his stereotypical cape with slicked back hair and a pale complexion-and is not very threatening at all, considering he is presumably controlling this gigantic ship. Also, for this being a thousand years in the future mankind is not so far advanced. There's a guy in a wheelchair with glasses (both of which you'd think they'd be able to repair) and much of what they say refer to things in our present day.And why is it that every 'sequel' that takes place in the future, on a spaceship, has a crew member that is a robot? Obviously trying to be like ALIEN, this was done with LEPRECHAUN 4 and JASON X (though that movie was far far better). The story is predictable, the dialogue and characters cliche ridden and DRACULA 3000 adds absolutely nothing to the vampire genre.
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