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Dragona Against Vampire (1985)
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Movie Review by The Undertaker
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08.01.04
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A martial arts master wants to find some secret shaolin kung-fu techniques. The thing here is that Black Dragon is really a vampire and likes to power up his kung-fu style by drinking the blood of cute lil' Chinese virgins; can't say I blame him, wouldn't mind trying that myself. We get too see a series of hilarious attacks and fights as a goofball student tries to save the day from the vampire menace and learn how to fight better. One scene, which made me nearly cry, has the girl our hero has befriended being possessed by the bloodsucker and she cuts the head off a chicken to drink its blood. She then strips and begs the guy to screw her with the very masculine voice of the vampire cat! Add to this, a scene where a man lures a dog to him by acting like a dog, then cooking it for dinner and the quintessential end fight where our hero kills the vampire by accidentally knocking him down on a rake and you get one hell of a crazy ride, Hong Kong style. This Joseph Lai mess as with most of his messes is very entertaining and keeps you laughing if little else. I mean all you have to do is read the way too big actors credits which roll before the film's title; Elton Chong, Eagle Han, & Carrie Lee surely must have recived some sorta reward for this thing! Love it or hate it, you gotta see it.
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Rating: nan out of 10.0 - 0 votes cast total
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