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Movie Review by The Drug Stuffed Corpse
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02.04.09
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Directed by Ace Cruz
MTI Home Video
I am aghast that I still cannot get funding for my action/comedy about a superhero who can only procure the powers needed to fight an omnipotent evil by molesting children. Will the metropolis' population assuage their guilt by making a logical decision? Or will they let emotion determine their choice? What is the lesser of two evils? Deep huh? And yet purgative atrocities like Fate get green-lighted everyday. The Six Million Dollar Man, Lee Majors is a serial killer (not too much of a stretch - he looks innocuous enough). His station in life is that of a janitor. Time has weathered his body and the years have depreciated and crippled his bionic ability, but he - like all failures - has found god. And god being the bastard of a deity that he is, has decreed that the cantankerous old mop-pusher must kill people and leave cryptic bible quotes as clues. Fate is an utter failure that mimics Se7en - poorly. Take one ignorant white-trash, smack-talkin' cop and team him up with a spiritual, well-educated black cop. Mix them up with a religious zealot/serial killer. Then remove all character development, tension, or any iota of entertainment value - all of which is lost in numerous continuity errors, puerile dialogue, an askew time frame, and blustery over (and under) acting - and Fate is delivered unto you. There really is nothing positive to say about this poorly reproduced carbon copy of David Fincher's classic thriller. Too many questions are left unsolved: how does a toilet-plunging retard acquire the sedatives and complex paralyzing narcotics needed to pluck his prey? How does a kidnapping that is usually on a busy street in the middle of the day occur without witnesses? Why do the hospital rooms look like storage closets? Moreover, why is expensive (looking) medical equipment sitting on a red Craftsman tool chest? You may be able to sit through this illogical, scatological hemorrhoid of a movie, but do not forget your cushiony inner tube. Six million dollars went a long way in the 70's, but inflation has made this film not worth the price of rental.
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Rating: nan out of 10.0 - 0 votes cast total
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