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Movie Review by The Gravedigger
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07.21.10
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This is an extremely entertaining version of the stories from the bible from director Mark Pirro (A POLISH VAMPIRE IN BURBANK, NUDIST COLONY OF THE DEAD). Although it makes these tales sillier, it makes you realize how fanciful and illogical they are to begin with. We begin at the beginning. God is portrayed as this lazy, overweight bald guy who decides to create a world, though he's frustrated that things don't always work out as he intended. For example, when he makes Adam a companion he creates another male, named Eve, but doesn't like the activity that they are doing with each other, so he banishes Eve from the Garden and then creates a woman from Adam's rib, which he bloodily rips out of the guy. Then Adam reproduces, though all his descendants are these inbreds, so God decides to kill everyone off except Noah. but Noah isn't exactly thrilled with the idea of having to build and ark and gather animals. In fact, they are so busy with this they forget to pack food for the voyage, so they eat some of the animals onboard, starting with the Unicorns and dragons. When the waters recede the entire landscape is covered with dead humans, so they resort to cannibalism. Then when he asks Abraham to sacrifice his son, he's only too happy to do this, since he hates the irritating offspring. When he tells Job that all the disasters he caused was simply a test--and a bet with his know it all girlfriend, Job is not too happy. There's also some zany interpretations of what the burning bush and the second coming actually were. Most importantly, there's a plausible explanation why men get weird nose and ear hair.
It ends with God finally confronting these two terrorists that have been trying to kill him throughout the movie and they turn out to be intelligence and science. They force him to sign a contract saying he won't interfere with mankind anymore so basically the only thing he and Jesus can manifest with their powers is to appear on trees and tortillas.
Be warned. As the disclaimer says "Warning: Some material may not be suitable for children or the deeply religious--technically the same thing".
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Rating: 8.8 out of 10.0 - 25 votes cast total
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