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Gutterballs (2008)
Movie Review by The Spastic Cannibal

Gutterballs (2008) While I didn't love "Gutterballs" I would definitely rank it as one of the coolest slasher movies of the decade. To all of those who are into these modern, "Scream" inspired, limp-dicked slasher flicks that have come out in recent years should take a look at this thing. "Gutterballs" doesn't break any new ground, nor did it particularly "blow my mind", but it DID have everything I have ever wanted to see in a slasher movie! This is what it's all about, folks - beaver shots, blood, and BITCHES - totally unrestrained by plot or the ever-interfering concept of "good taste". It's pretty much just about a group of THE most obnoxiously unbearable, loud, foul-mouthed brats who have a late-night bowling league, though spend most of their lane-time spouting obscene remarks, viciously insulting the equally apathetic janitor, and "utilizing" their slutty chick posse... The beginning shows them in an intense altercation with the opposing team, which leads to the a violent revenge rape of one of the girls - leaving her vaginally wedged with a bowling pin... The next night, they all arrive for their game and are rhythmically killed off by a mysterious murderer, masked by a bowling bag and armed with various and deadly bowling equipment.

Plenty of hilariously gruesome and highly original death scenes - including a head jammed in a ball-waxer, a tranny being throat-reamed by a pin before suffering severe penile mutilation, and something I can only describe as "death by 69". The acting is horrible and makes the character's constant boisterousness grow completely irritating after a while; so much so that I began hating the film in between the kill scenes. I understand the "you love to hate em" idea, especially in slasher flicks, but this was far to much, in my opinion. The effects aren't great but are over-the-top enough to compensate and the "twist" ending was beyond predictable. Overall, it still ain't hard to get into "Gutterballs", what with all of it's obvious references to rape/revenge films (Last House on the Left, I Spit on Your Grave, Irreversible), a fast pace, and tons of fun gore. Peep this one out, gore-hounds!

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