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Horror movies, reviews and more at buried.com
Horror movies, reviews and more at buried.com
Horror movies, reviews and more at buried.com
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Hostel (2005)
Movie Review by The Undertaker

Hostel (2005) Well Hello Buried bitches... been a while since you got a review from my ass, but here it is. I went to see this today and figured I'd go on and break it to you like it should be broken. Hostel... all that hype... looks good in the previews... all those little quotes from those other bullshit great horror reviews sites (why the fuck didn't I get to see a screener and get a quote fucker?)... the 1st film in months I was actually looking forward to and after seeing I feel, well, a little let down. Don't get me wrong, it's a cool, fun movie, but it ain't all what they are hyping it as. It's not gonna be "the scariest movie in years" or the goriest shit you ever saw or anything all that groundbreaking to real horror fans that have seen A-Z shit. Honestly, I liked Roth's Cabin Fever better. Hostel is very predictable and just not all that creepy to me. I guess the whole concept is kinda shocking if you're some puss that has lived a sheltered life, but really, humans paying to kill other humans is as old as time. Does anyone honestly think you can't buy anything (I mean anything) for the right price, especially in poor ass countries? Still, the movie is fun and bloody, not any worse than most of us have seen though. It's just that it so rare now that Hollywood let's anything gory come out that it surprises the masses. The eyeball shit scene was nasty though, even I'll admit that. OH, and I did like all those hot tittys running around, something else we rarely see. So we have here a good film, not a great film, that's enjoyable enough to go see... but don't expect some super-scary life changing movie. All Hostel will do is change your travel plans to Europe and confirm that everyone hates us Americans... like we needed confirmation. The sad thing is this maybe could have been something special, but it is what it is. It's sad though that so many dumbasses think this is a Tarantino directed film... I have seen people actually post this in reviews, hahahahahaaha! Can people not even read the credits these days? Don't give that grandma chinned hack any more credit than he deserves... please! The only reason he stuck his name on the "Presents" is so he could look coool and hardcore to horror fans. That punk as is about as hardcore as an ice cream cake in a microwave; fuck Quentin Tarantino. I'd pay good money like the creeps in Hostel to get him in one of those rooms cuffed down and work his chin over with some power and hand tools.

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