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Jaws of Satan (1983)
Movie Review by The Undertaker

Jaws of Satan (1983) Well, here's the movie of the week for me on 8-29-04. I searched for this damn thing for months and finally I got me a copy to watch, it was Jaws of Satan dropping to say the least. It seems that Satan has taken the form of a King Cobra and is out to reek havoc on a small town and capture the soul of its John Kerry look-alike priest. This is one evil looking snake to boot; the effects are shamelessly bad... in a good way. Satan commands an army of serpents once he bites some dickhead on a train and gets loose. The town is overrun by a rash of snake sightings and attacks, leaving a baffled Dr. and herpetologist to try and clean up the mess. They had no idea they were up against the devil himself. It takes a couple of priests to finally figure things out as the snakes begin to take over and the devil nears getting his due. You gotta love this movie. Can Satan be exorcised from a snake? See this and you'll learn the answer. Some of the dialog here must be heard; it's that damn funny. Satan snake looks so cool. I wish there were toys for this movie somewhere. You even see a snake deter a rape just for added thrills. This movie is so classic and so classically bad I don't know how I went this long without owning a copy. A very young Christina Applegate appears here and is bitten by a rattlesnake for her troubles. You have to love the town mayor willing to sacrifice his constituents to snake attacks as long as his dog track opens on time and he can get a return on his dumbass investment. Great Flick!
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