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Malevolence (2004)
Movie Review by The Drug Stuffed Corpse

Malevolence (2004) Directed by Walt Disney Films

Every child has lofty goals, impossible and unattainable fantasies. Some want to be heroic firefighters while others aspire to be professional hockey players. As I grew up, I dreamed of being a serial killer. I wished to be spirited away by a lone, misanthropic predator, to be groomed in the sublime art of murder; in torture and humiliation; killing and disposal, before graduating in the school of iniquity. How I longed for rescued from my mundane, suburban lifestyle. My babysitter was my first fantasy; what began as consensual sex, quickly twisted into violence, humiliation and eventually rape and murder. From here, I matured to other women in my life: aunts, sisters, my mother(s), and any family member cursed without a Y chromosome. My fantasies never extended to the men in my family. It had nothing to do with my sexuality. I just could not justify hurting them for hurting me. Moreover, to sexualize revenge seemed a foreign notion to an 11-year-old me. This never did happen, but thanks to the magic of Walt Disney films, this wondrous fantasy comes to fruition for one lucky little boy. Oh, how I coveted his station in life. I tried to live vicariously through him as Malevolence played out, and although the film is mean-spirited, it lacks heart and conviction. It so happens that our young boy has grown into a competent and clinically precise human hunter. Unfortunately for us, our adroit murderer is also a boring killer. For his victims, death comes quick; he squanders his gift by using maximum force - one victim, one stab. It is as if he does not want to expend too much energy. I comprehend being raised in a slaughterhouse can really stifle ones personality; how are you supposed to keep up with serial killing trends when you live in a vacuum? As a result, Malevolent's killer lacks identity, originality and perversity; his pleasure-fucked libido is fuelled by quick, mostly-painless kills (and a bit of posthumous necro-fun). Anyhoo, the film's killer does indeed live in an abandoned slaughterhouse (and to avoid redundancy see above). And to the question forming in your tiny brain - yes, his sexual totem is not quenched until postmortem. It's what the body represents that is paramount to him; it represents his longing to be dead because even this pop-culturally retarded recluse comprehends just how fucking awful this movie is. Rent Malevolence and you too can live vicariously through the tedious life of a murderer, and more importantly be able to identify with the lives of serial killers not when they are hunting or killing, but when they are doing laundry, washing their car or mowing the lawn.

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