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My Bloody Valentine 3D (2009)
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Movie Review by The Gravedigger
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01.16.09
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The first third of this movie is great, getting right to the gore and feel of an 80's horror movie. After a mine collapses one miner is found to be alive, though it looks like he killed all the other miners who were trapped with him, so he could have all the air. He's in a coma and wakes up one year later, to continue killing. He slaughters everyone he meets in the hospital and we see all the mutilated bodies. It even looks like he took the heart out of one of them. Tom Atkins (THE FOG, HALLOWEEN 3, NIGHT OF THE CREEP) portrays the Sheriff who tracks the killer down into the mine, where he's killed a bunch of partygoers. Then we skip ten years later...
This rest of the movie is painfully long, predictable and the identity of the killer is telegraphed in big red glowing letters. It's no surprise whatsoever even though the writers try to make you think it may be someone else. No such luck. In fact, it's so obvious it makes it boring when the other characters are trying to figure out who it is. We know already! And while the 3-D is really cool in that first half hour, particularly with the guy's eye popping out (a la FRIDAY THE 13th 3-D), there's only so many times you can see that pick-ax coming towards you before you start yawning. And although Jensen Ackles is great on SUPERNATURAL he is badly miscast as one of the leads here.
If you want to see this remake for the sheer novelty of seeing a 3-D horror movie then go ahead. If you want to see a far better movie rent the original.
directed by Patrick Lussier (DRACULA 2000, WHITE NOISE 2)
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Rating: 9.0 out of 10.0 - 1 vote cast total
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