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Shark Week Reviews (2001)
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Movie Review by The Undertaker
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12.29.00
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These 3 flicks are all so similar and kinda related I thought I'd just have a 3some with the sharks and do 'em all at once (the movies I mean). The 3 films in question are 1- The Last Shark aka Great White, The Last Jaws, & L'ultimo Squallo from 1980 2- Deep Blood aka Profondo Sangue, Sharks -The Challenge made in 1989 3- Cruel Jaws made in 1994. People there's more stock footage in these 3 than you'll ever see on the Discovery Channel.Let's start with The Last Shark. Seen Jaws? Then you've seen this too. Well, not really, but it's kinda similar. Vic Morrow does his best Scottish accent and wants to kill the thing. This one has plenty of shark action (real and otherwise) and some gory moments to it. Ever seen a shark take out a helicopter? How about a regatta of windsurfers? The giant steel curtain built to keep out the shark just doesn't hold up to the giant teeth. From there on out it's shark rampage. Luckily, our 'heroes' are able to tag the thing with a nice pink rubber ball (or balloon or float or buoy or some shit) so as to keep track of it. The actual shark that was made for the film isn't too bad looking and it eats a chopper so it gets my approval. This thing is classic! Some of the goofiest dialog ever helps keep you awake. Stuff like ' Where's Peter? ' ' Oh, Peter couldn't come. ' and later ' Good to see he made it in ' ' Yes, I'm glad Peter could make it this morning also ' I bet lady! Next comes director Joe D'amato's (R.I.P.) Deep Blood. I had high, high hopes for this one, but it was the least interesting of the 3 for me. Not enough shark carnage for my tastes. Still an ok flick, but I wanted more edible peoples. Some really cheesy ass FX and dialog. The storyline of this movie was it's strongest point really. Lastly, we have a movie that is the biggest ripper of all, Cruel Jaws! I can't even put into words the jaw dropping experience I had watching this one. Let's see, we have what is basically a remake of The Last Shark (which was a rip-off of Jaws), it has some footage ripped right out of both Cruel Jaws and The Last Shark, and it has some music in it that very much sounds like some Star Wars tunes! HAHAHAHAAH! A classic exploiter of the highest caliber. Wacky dialog, more cheesy shark attacks (and more stock footage) and that incredible pink buoy shark indicator (though that is never really explained). They keep calling the shark a tiger shark, but the one in the movie sure looks like a great white! Oh my, what more can you want? Blood, sharks, and rip-offs at every angle. This one was supposedly directed by Bruno Mattei under another name so do I need to say more hash! Forget Deep Blue and check out these 3!
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Rating: nan out of 10.0 - 0 votes cast total
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