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08.19.2017
Silent Night (2012)
Movie Review by The Mortician
01.07.14

Silent Night (2012) It's the remake of SILENT NIGHT DEADLY NIGHT and it is not bad if you like killer Santa movies (finally, another good one!), slasher movies, or remakes that respect the original movies' vibe. As a matter of fact, this movie is so good that they should've just gone with a completely new title like CHRISTMAS DAY MASSACRE and said that it was "inspired" by the original two slash classics. There are some nice homages to the first two SILENT NIGHT movies, including a "Garbage Day!" salute (diehard fans will know what I'm talking aboutóRICKY RULES!!!) and Linnea Quigley's "hung on deer antlers" sequence (although sadly, the actress in the remake keeps her top on!!! Boooo!). This remake reminded me a lot of MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3-D, which had the same leading lady (Jaime King) and she's a decent actress. I had seen Amazon reviews where Scream Queen Jessica Cameron was supposed to have a role in this one after giving such a fine breakthrough performance in Tim Ritter's DEADLY DARES- TRUTH OR DARE 4, but sadly Jessica is just a walk-on cameo in this movie, with only three lines! She offers to give crazy Grandpa a bath, that's it! Didn't wear anything sexy or even play a victim. Disappointing there. Fortunately, actress Cortney Palm delivers the true scream queen goods by showing her shapely wares and getting chased by Santa with an ax-TOPLESS- through town in broad daylight (!) and right into a place that sells Christmas trees where Santa throws her into a TREE MULCHER in a most memorable scene! Santa have mercy, please! Now this is a TRUE scream queen with a most memorable scene! Something the diehard fans like me will not forget! Reminded me of the fully nude chase in the BLOODY VALENTINE remake...Anyway, the plot? Santa comes to a small town to kill folks he deems NAUGHTY (including a salacious priest, porn producers, etc.) on Christmas Eve, and cop Jaime King is trying to deal with the loss of her husband from a year ago and other family issues while also dodging her crazy boss, Doctor Loomis, errrr...Malcolm McDowell, who chews up the scenery like its celery, Loomis/Rob Zombie style! He's the "Sheriff" right on the killer's trail, and always five steps behind. There's also a "Santa Contest" going on in town, with about 50 downtrodden guys dressed up like Mr. Clause, so...hard to find the REAL killer even in this postage stamp-sized town. There's a very cool twist at the end that's really hard to catch and not so clear [I had to watch it twice to figure it out!] but it's ripped from today's real news headlines and quite good once you understand it---major kudos for coming up with a Nu Twist in a Nu Slasher Santa flick! Just wish it would have been easier to understand. The gore scenes are mainly practical and include electrocutions, stabbings, scream queen thrown in a tree shredder, strangulations, axings, and liberal use of a huge flamethrower, EXTERMINATOR style! Santa is clearly armed up to the teeth in this one! SILENT NIGHT is a great film that delivers outrageous death sequences, super practical gore effects, hawt female nudity by the true scream queens of the 21st Century (mmmm, Ms. Palm!!!!), excellent plot twists and splendid homages to the first two SILENT NIGHT slasher epics! If you're a card-carrying slasher fan...by all means, be NAUGHTY, see this sleazy gem of a movie!
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