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Simon Says (2006)
Movie Review by The Gravedigger

Simon Says (2006) A group of five friends decide to go camping near a river in the woods and pan for gold. They get lost, stop for directions at an old graveyard and two creepy guys tell them the story about Stanley and how he killed his identical twin brother, Simon, which we see in a flashback. They also direct them to the nearest town in the valley below, where it just so happens Stanley runs the "Miner's Tool" store. Yet when the group goes down there to buy a few things it's brain-damaged Simon who is behind the counter.

This is a splatter movie in the truest sense of the word. There are the pre-requisite characters such as the jock asshole who is cheating on his girlfriend with the tan blonde, the stoner, the uptight chick and, of course, the heroine who you know will eventually defeat the utterly insane serial killer. But you know what, I didn't mind all the contrivance. The movie has an incredibly dark sense of humor and Crispin Glover gives an inspired performance. All of the murders are done via different devices that utilize pick-axes, the most formidable being a Gatling gun type device that hurls dozens of them at a time. These slayings are so over-the-top gruesome that it had me chuckling. I also thought it cool that Glover's father, Bruce Glover (DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER) is in the movie as Stanley/Simon's father. If you miss the slasher movies from the 80's this should sate your appetite.

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