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Sleepaway Camp (1983)
Movie Review by The Spastic Cannibal

Sleepaway Camp (1983) Too many years have gone by since I have planted myself down and watched this crazy thing. "Sleepaway Camp" is such an enjoyable 80s summer camp movie that just so happens to have a few goofy murders in it. What can be said about such a great piece of slasher entertainment that hasn't already been said? The acting is so shitty, the characters are so hilarious, and the plot line is so debatable that I dare anyone NOT to dig the flick...

As we all know, "Friday the 13th" set the stage for all the summer camp genre films to pop up throughout the 80s, such as "The Burning", "Madman", and "Cheerleader Camp", which was such an awesome place for a killer to lurk. Most people have a nostalgic outlook on such films, but I never had the privilege of attending any such summer retreat as a child. My parents were too busy fighting child custody battles and having casual, unprotected, spiteful sex with random barflies to ever sign me up for camp which, to this day, bums me out. Based on these movies, camp seemed like a good place to do some drugs and get some action with all kinds of slutty chicks in small, cut-off denim shorts. All the fucking I could ever hope for was waiting for me at summer camp! The murdering - that was just a far fetched fantasy... Granted, "Sleepaway Camp" had chicks that seemed virtually unfuckable, like Judy whose only social recourse seemed to be walking into frame, saying something unnecessarily bitchy, then walking out of frame. Then there was Meg who, as it turns out, was into geezers... Anyway, Camp Arawak never seemed like a fun place to spend your summer. Too many asshole jocks, four-eyed losers with buck-knives, pedophilic cooks, muscular dudes sporting obscene penis bulges, kids wearing stetsons for no apparent reason, and, of course, chicks with dicks. Still, it makes for some very satisfying cinematic revelry. When the mysterious killer begins picking off the most obnoxious kids, I could've cared less. Hell, I found the rest to be stimulating teenage soap-opera goodness! Like, were Angela and Paul gonna take their romance to the next level? Yeah, not a lot of gore and no nudity in this one, but it's still a fun flick to sit around with a bunch of people and spout off smart-ass comments on. The acting is terrible and hammy and not much happens throughout - except for maybe the implied curling iron sodomy which is great - making the final scene all-the-more stunning and unexpected. You all know what I'm talking about so there's no need to elaborate... If you haven't seen the movie... I hate you.

So, yeah, "Sleepaway Camp" is a flick I just find awesome for the fact that it's so cheap and funny. I advise you all to pop this one in with some drunken assholes around and get shit-faced while partaking of it's inane charm...

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