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10.24.2017
Slumber Party Massacre II (1987)
Movie Review by Professor Corpse Rot
05.06.11

Slumber Party Massacre II (1987) It's pretty surreal to think of Roger Corman serving as an executive producer for The Slumber Party Massacre and its sequel…but it did in fact happen. Oh what am I rabble-rousing about?! Corman has long been venerated as the King of the B-movies! That's precisely what this sequel is, too. To some sickening extent your fellow undead professor was expecting more of the same in this entry; the usual go-to script for most Slasher films, moving steadily down a bulleted list to bring us a predictable outcome. But like all expectations, they are never met. Such as the case with the lords and ladies of my time, in which young suitors would approach a woman of age, expecting to court with a gentleman's intentions - but that's a story for another time, friends. So how unfortunate could the outcome of the film be if it's worse than the formula we're used to? Allow me to explain.

The story picks up where the first left off, shifting focus to Valerie's younger sister Courtney. A few years have gone by and Courtney now finds herself in the role of young adulthood, eager to pal-it-up with her girlfriends and fawn over boys - or shall we say…one boy in particular. Why yes, you're familiar with the sort; the sought-after Adonis of the pack, sporting the latest of Duran Duran-influenced wispy haircuts, arrogant in his gait after parking his convertible, clearly much too matured to still be in high school. There's a bit of an unsettling dilemma for the young girl, however, in that she's plagued with re-occurring nightmares of her sister Valerie; currently housed in a mental institution proceeding the hellacious events by the hands of the Driller Killer. What is Valerie trying to warn her sister of while witling off into slumber? And who is the strange man dressed in a black leather outfit?

The premise for this over-the-top follow-up film is probably much more than you bargained for. Clearly the level of humor was taken up a notch to an almost annoying extent - because remember folks, I really do not care for horror comedy. So who is this mysterious figure dressed in black I speak of, taunting Courtney endlessly in her dreams? None other than your neighborhood friendly late 80's rock star of course, armed with a rather obtuse-looking guitar with a drill on the end of it. The director of this shameful abomination, the same woman responsible for writing and producing it as well, even saw fit to give this clown a musical number about 3 quarters of the way through the film.

The girls in Slumber Party Massacre 2 are also aspiring musicians; glamorously shown in two segments that closely resemble a music video. What I find pretty interesting is that music lip-synched in these parts was obviously done by a professional band. With a bit of research, I found out that the first song entitled, "If Only" was recorded by a group called Wednesday Week. The other song in the film "Why" was also taken off the same album.

Crystal Bernard, the 26-year-old who portrayed Courtney, went on to a lead a pretty successful acting career. This is well deserved, in my opinion, because she exists high above the other players featured in this film. She also happens to be charming and there's a certain sense of innocence about her character. This positive attribute in relation to The Slumber Party Massacre 2 may want to be investigated further because I firmly believe that extraterrestrial involvement played a hand in this…you know, similar to the Pyramids of Giza and the Money Pit at Oak Island.

Well, now that you've skimmed over the only interesting part about this movie, what else can you hope for? I wouldn't put too much stock into gruesome or inventive slayings…the gore is kept to a minimum in comparison to its predecessor. How the killer is able to materialize from Courtney's dreams into a real-life entity, prancing about on a murderous spree is left unexplained…which really brings me to the most confusing of all; the ending. Now…there are several films that have endings from left field entirely, causing you to exhibit a confounded look, whether it be of amazement or disgust, but The Slumber Party Massacre 2 just threw up its hands at the end of filming and lets you be the judge. Imagine the brilliance of someone throwing a deck of cards at you and allowing them to fall to the ground. Then, they instruct you to pick any card that you first lay your eyes on and to keep it hidden from view. That's where the entertainment ends, however, as the next part of the trick involves you going home and realizing that the magic show is over.

This is that quirky late 80's entry you've been in search for to keep as your ace card. How much patience you have for utter crap is really the only thing that's at stake here. One might get a slight thrill when they recognize a familiar face as one of the idiotic males featured in this film, Joel Hoffman. You may have known him from 1988's Pumpkinhead and a brief stint in Killer Workout from '87. He managed to disappear into thin air after his part in Pumpkinhead so any recent news of his mortgage approvals, forays into film producing, or what he ate last week at Subway aren't available for the trivia moguls. Rumor has it that he's an English teacher at Reedley high school in California. This tidbit of info is incorrect because according to Reedley high school's website, Mr. Hoffman teaches Foreign Languages.

Unbeknownst to me, Slumber Party Massacre 2 makes me feel old - and should I not? For once I was a young lad, bounding over green pastures of yore, contemplating my stature among the gentry; now I sit complacently, warning others of the treacherous pitfalls of sloppy sequels and straight to VHS horrend-a-thons . It only gets worse from here, people.

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